Mike and John...

Okay, you bet I can do that oil change without stripping the drainplug...you sit back and drink your beers...just pass me one...I can do more than one thing at a time :-) and while Im at it, I'll tune it up...pass me another beer...wash and wax? uh, pass me a six-pack...oh and a step ladder (im only 5'4 lol)

John wrote:

> Mike Miller wrote: > > > > Gina, > > > > I truly resent, no absolutely abhor, the terrible, probably terminal, > > misrepresentation of the male gender put forward by this diatribe. > > > > There is no way, it is not possible, no, not even as a concept that any > > reasonable, or unreasonable man would waste all that time with that fricking > > oil when there was beer to drink. > > > > So there. > > > > Mike > > > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: Gina <GG811@SENTRYMICRO.COM> > > To: <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM> > > Sent: Saturday, February 19, 2000 3:18 PM > > Subject: oil change humor-NO vanagon content > > > > > sorry folks...i just had to :-) > > > > > > Oil Changes... > > > > > > Women: > > > 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the > > > last oil change. > > > 2. Drink a cup of coffee. > > > 3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly > > > maintained vehicle. > > > > > > Men: > > > 1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, > > > filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree. > > > 2. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking back > > > > > > to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard. > > > 3. Open a beer and drink it. > > > 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. > > > 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. > > > 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. > > > 7. Place drain pan under engine. > > > 8. Look for the right size box end wrench. > > > 9. Give up and use crescent wrench. > > > 10. Unscrew drain plug. > > > 11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the > > > process. > > > 12. Clean up. > > > 13. Have another beer while oil is draining. > > > 14. Look for oil filter wrench. > > > 15. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips head screwdriver and twist it > > > > > > off. > > > 16. Beer. > > > 17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow. > > > 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. > > > 19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step. > > > 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. > > > 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer. > > > 22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil > > > to gasket first. > > > 23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine. > > > 24. Remember drain plug from step 11. > > > 25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. > > > 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil > > > drains onto floor. > > > 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame. > > > 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction. > > > 29. Begin cussing fit. > > > 30. Throw wrench. > > > 31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December > > > (1992) in the left boob. > > > 32. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle. > > > 33. Beer. > > > 34. Beer. > > > 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil. > > > 36. Beer. > > > 37. Lower car from jack stands > > > 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands > > > 39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil > > > > > > spilled during step 23. > > > 40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for 7000 miles when it'll be time for > > > another > > > oil change > > > >>>>>>>>in all fairness, i personally add... > > > 41. Go to 6 different parts stores looking for a new drain plug for the > > > lady friend who got hers stripped at Jiffy Lube > > Mike, > > You right. Judging from the story, I must admit that Gina is quite > knowledgeable and well informed about the oil change process. Maybe SHE > could do the oil service while we drink beer? After all it would only > take her 15 minutes and of course she WOULDN'T damage the drain plug. > > Kind regards to Gina, John