Date:         Mon, 13 Nov 2000 14:10:04 -0700
Reply-To:     Karl Wolz <wolzphoto@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Karl Wolz <wolzphoto@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject:      Fw: [KG] Needed Tools

This from the Ghia list.  No, I don't own one, just wanted to get educated a
bit.

Karl Wolz

>
> >TOOLS OF THE TRADE
> >
> >
> >HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, today the hammer is used
as
> >a kind of divining rod to locate tender body parts not far from the
object
> >you are trying to hit.
> >
> >MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open cardboard cartons. It works particularly
> >well
> >on boxes containing convertible tops or tonneau covers.
> >
> >PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.
> >
> >HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board
> >principle. It transforms human energy into crooked, unpredictable motion,
> >and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
> >future becomes.
> >
> >VISE GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available,
> >they
> >can transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
> >
> >OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used to remove rounded off bolts and free any stuck
> >part.
> >
> >DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful to suddenly snatching flat
metal
> >stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and throws
your
> >work across the room.
> >
> >WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere
under
> >the workbench at the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints, warts and
> >calluses.
> >
> >HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering drop spindle trucks to the
ground,
> >trapping the jack handle firmly under the front air dam.
> >
> >EIGHT FOOT LONG 2X4: Used to pry truck upward off a hydraulic jack
> >
> >TWEEZERS: A tool used for removing wood splinters.
> >
> >PHONE: Tool for calling around to find another hydraulic floor jack.
> >
> >E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and
is
> >ten times harder than any known drill bit.
> >
> >TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup
on
> >crankshaft pulleys.
> >
> >TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile
> >strength of ground straps and hydraulic clutch lines you may have
forgotten
> >to disconnect.
> >
> >CRAFTSMAN 1/2 X 16" SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that
> >inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on one end.
> >
> >BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid
> >from
> >a battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your
battery
> >is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
> >
> >AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
> >
> >TROUBLE LIGHT: Sometimes called a drop light. Its main purpose is to
> >consume
> >40-watt light bulbs. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat
> >misleading.
> >
> >PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style
> >paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt. It can also be used,
> >as
> >the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
> >
> >AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning
> >power
> >plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels
by
> >hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty suspension
bolts
> >last tightened 40 years ago by someone in Detroit and rounds them off.
> >
>
> Michael Jekot
> 1963 356C Coupe "Zuff"
> Minneapolis MN
> http://www.356registry.org/Fun/mikesnewcar.html