Date:         Tue, 28 Nov 2000 10:15:57 -0800
Reply-To:     Todd Francis <tbf@PACIFIER.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Todd Francis <tbf@PACIFIER.COM>
Subject:      Re: Canadians - Don't Forget to Vote! (Suspiciously little
              Vanagon             Content)
Comments: To: Marshall Ruskin <mruskin@PANGEA.CA>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

To the citizens of the United States of America,

In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA
and
thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby
give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties
over
all states, commonwealths and other territories, including New Jersey.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply
with
the following acts:

1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75).
Start
spelling English words correctly.

2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"

3. Start referring to "soccer" as football

4. Declare war on Quebec and France

5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason

6. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby

7. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses
to
be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before
you eat.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with
November 7th.

9. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to
take 6
weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks.

10. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the
change immediately.

11. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new
passport
and job allocation.

12. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrew.

13. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and
the
Queen's Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial.

14. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it
the
National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!