Date:         Fri, 23 Mar 2001 12:03:05 -0800
Reply-To:     james peters <rickenhacker@HOTMAIL.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         james peters <rickenhacker@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject:      Friday English?
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed

The European Commission have just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's govt. conceded that  English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5   year phase in
plan that would be known as"EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft
"c"--sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear       up
konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words   like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be  expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are   possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters,  which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil   agre that the horible mes of the
silent "e's" in the language is   disgraceful, and they should go away.

By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"   with
"z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan   be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors  be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil  hav a reli sensibl riten
styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis  and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech ozer.
ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!!!!!
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