Date: Fri, 31 Aug 2001 09:52:50 -0700
Reply-To: Karl Wolz <wolzphoto@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Karl Wolz <wolzphoto@WORLDNET.ATT.NET>
Subject: MORE Friday Fuelishness
Engineering Test
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
A thermodynamics professor had written a take-home exam for his graduate
students. It consisted of one question:
"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we postulate that, if souls exist, they must have a mass. If they
do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls
moving into Hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think that we can
safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving.
"As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not
a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than
one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all people and all souls will go to Hell. With birth and
death rates being what they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
"Now we look at the rate of change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states
that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to remain constant,
the ratio of the mass of souls and volume need to stay constant.
"Therefore, one of two conditions must exist:
"1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
"2. If Hell is expanding at a faster rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will decrease until Hell
freezes over.
"So, which is it? If we accept the postulate given me by a certain co-ed
during freshman year, and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true. Hell,
therefore, is exothermic."
He received an A.