I would really like to comment on this post. But I can't. First, ROTF, LMAO. And second I can't think of anything clever enough to compare with it. Darn.

Mike

> From: Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET> > Organization: not likely > Reply-To: Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET> > Date: Fri, 7 Sep 2001 22:32:44 -0500 > To: vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM > Subject: Re: Is there any way... > > On Fri, 7 Sep 2001 Karl "speaks with forked tongue" Wolz sed: >>>> Photonic Energy Transfer Rate. >> Need I say more?<< > > Thence replied in kind, John "us idiots?" Baker ... >> For us idiots, YES! > > PETR is related to DST ... Dark Sucker Theory. > > For years it has been believed that electric bulbs emitted light. > However, recent information from Bell Labs has proven otherwise. > Electric bulbs don't emit light, they suck dark. Thus they now call > these bulbs dark suckers. The dark sucker theory, according to a Bell > Labs spokesperson, proves the existence of dark, that dark has mass > heavier than that of light, and that dark is faster than light. > > The basis of the dark sucker theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. > Take for example, the dark suckers in the room where you are. There is > less dark right next to them than there is elsewhere. The larger the > dark sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark suckers in a > parking lot have a much greater capacity than the ones in this room. > As with all things, dark suckers don't last forever. Once they are > full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the black > spot on a full dark sucker. A candle is a primitive dark sucker. lA > new candle has a white wick. You will notice that after the first use, > the wick turns black, representing all the dark which has been sucked > into it. If you hold a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, > the tip will turn black because it got in the path of the dark flowing > into the candle. Unfortunately, these primitive dark suckers have a > very limited range. There are also portable dark suckers. The bulbs in > these can't handle all of the dark by themselves, and must be aided by > a dark storage unit. When the dark storage unit is full, it must be > either emptied or replaced before the portable dark sucker can operate > again. > > Dark has mass. When dark goes into a dark sucker, friction from this > mass generates heat. Thus it is not wise to touch an operating dark > sucker. Candles present a special problem, as the dark must travel in > the solid wick instead of through glass. This generates a great amount > of heat. Thus it can be very dangerous to touch an operating candle. > Dark is also heavier than light. If you swim deeper and deeper, you > notice it gets slowly darker and darker. When you reach a depth of > approximately fifty feet, you are in total darkness. This is because > the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light > floats to the top. The immense power of dark can be utilized to mans > advantage. We can collect the dark that has settled to the bottom of > lakes and push it through turbines, which generate electricity and > help push it to the ocean where it may be safely stored. Prior to > turbines, it was much more difficult to get dark from the rivers and > lakes to the ocean. The Indians recognized this problem, and tried to > solve it. When on a river in a canoe travelling in the same direction > as the flow of the dark, they paddled slowly, so as not to stop the > flow of dark, but when they traveled against the flow of dark, they > paddled quickly so as to help push the dark along its way. > > Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to > stand in an illuminated room in front of a closed, dark closet, then > slowly open the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the > closet, but since the dark is so fast, you would not be able to see > the dark leave the closet. > > In conclusion, Bell Labs stated that dark suckers make all our lives > much easier. So the next time you look at an electric bulb remember > that it is indeed a dark sucker. > > see http://home.netcom.com/~rogermw/darksucker.html > for further explanation. but basically, it shows that the Theory of > Light > is all wrong. all "lights" suck dark, not emit light/photon. > > somewhat related is the ancient British Automotive conclusion > involving > the smoke held inside automobile wiring ... > see http://www.ovlr.org/franz/smoke.html > for the convincing explanations. > > or as Socrates used to say, you already knew it; you just forgot it. > ;) > > unca joel >