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Date:         Sat, 8 Sep 2001 00:54:56 -0500
Reply-To:     Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Organization: not likely
Subject:      Fw: Out of the Mouth of Babes
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

a lot of you folks have kids ... and some of you are still kids ... so i'll pass this along as Frydaye Follies, Part Zwei. :)

> My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was > on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick > lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. > While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course > I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. > > Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so > I asked him, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that > child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with > me." Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?" > > "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had, cause the > smell was getting worse. > > Soooo......... I asked one more time, "Matt, did you have an accident", > This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his > cheeks and yelled........."See MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS" > > While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he > calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing > happened. I was mortified.... but some kind elderly people made > me feel a lot better when they came over and thanked me for > the best laugh they had ever had!!! > > Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices? > ********************************************************************** ****** > > Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a > storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I > came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in > bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I > resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I > talked to the children, and explained that was O.K. to sleep with Mom > when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, >please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK. > > After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children > picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since > the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for > my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for > their arriving passengers. > > As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running > shouting "Hi Dad, I've got some good news!" > > As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?" > > "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex > shouted. > ********************************************************************** ****** > > At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to > the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting down > around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That's a very > pretty dress. Is it your Easter dress?" > > The girl replied almost directly into the > pastor's clip-on mic, "Yes, and my mom says it's a bitch to iron." > ********************************************************************** ***

> A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She > stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating > a snack cake.The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get > hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna > get boobs too."


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