Date:         Sat, 8 Sep 2001 00:54:56 -0500
Reply-To:     Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Organization: not likely
Subject:      Fw: Out of the Mouth of Babes
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

a lot of you folks have kids ... and some of you are still kids ... so
i'll pass this along as Frydaye Follies, Part Zwei. :)

>  My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and
I was
>  on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick
>  lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
room.
>  While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course
>  I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
>
>  Then I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so
>  I asked him, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that
>  child has had an accident and I didn't have any clothes with
>  me." Then I said, "Matt, are you sure you did not have an
accident?"
>
>  "No," he replied. I just knew that he must have had, cause the
>  smell was getting worse.
>
>  Soooo......... I asked one more time, "Matt, did you have an
accident",
>  This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his
>  cheeks and yelled........."See MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS"
>
>  While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he
>  calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if
nothing
>  happened. I was mortified.... but some kind elderly people made
>  me feel a lot better when they came over and thanked me for
>  the best laugh they had ever had!!!
>
>  Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult
voices?
>
**********************************************************************
******
>
>  Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a
>  storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I
>  came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in
>  bed with my wife, Karey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I
>  resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next
day, I
>  talked to the children, and explained that was O.K. to sleep with
Mom
> when  the storm was bad, but when I was expected home,
>please don't sleep with Mom that night. They said OK.
>
>  After my next trip several weeks later, Karey and the children
>  picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since
>  the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for
>  my plane's arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for
>  their arriving passengers.
>
>  As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running
>  shouting "Hi Dad, I've got some good news!"
>
>  As I waved back, I said loudly, "What's the good news?"
>
>  "Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!" Alex
>  shouted.
>
**********************************************************************
******
>
>  At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up to
>  the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children were sitting
down
>  around the pastor, he leaned over and said to the girl, "That's a
very
>  pretty dress.  Is it your Easter dress?"
>
> The girl replied almost directly into the
>  pastor's clip-on mic, "Yes, and my mom says it's a bitch to iron."
>
**********************************************************************
***

>  A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She
>  stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut,
eating
>  a snack cake.The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get
>  hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know. I'm gonna
>  get boobs too."