Date:         Sun, 30 Sep 2001 01:11:10 -0400
Reply-To:     Jason Gorfine <jgorfine@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Jason Gorfine <jgorfine@EARTHLINK.NET>
Subject:      any flux capacitor conversions available?
Content-type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

all this time spent recently, in and around the wiring of my van, staring at
gauges and wiring diagrams with symbols denoting the gauges i was just
staring at...

well it's gotten me to thinking- who needs a TDI conversion, a Porsche 911
3.2L conversion, an Audi 5-cylinder conversion?  the next logical step is
some sort of flux capacitor based conversion?  why worry about taking your
van over the mountain when you could just jump far enough forward in time to
erode the Rockies into something more along the lines of the Appalachians?
or better yet, turn the Appalachians into the rolling hills of Nebraska or
some other state that i'm pretty sure is more or less flat.

or perhaps some sort of system that creates a total vacuum just ahead of
your respective trusty vans at, and even below, highway speeds?  i imagine
the drag coefficient (which i believe for the Vanagon is described as "akin
to a building rolling down a hill") is non-issue when there's no air to
measure it against.  best of all, you'd probably leave a booming wave of
continuous thunder in your wake.  you'd be more than a match for the kids in
the lowered Civics with the glass packs and/or "boomin' " systems (as i'm
told they, the kids, like to call them).
i imagine the threat of total suffocation to any passersby on crosswalks
could be considered a drawback, or even a danger, but we're the ones sitting
in the very front of our vehicles like little meat bumpers.  a certain
amount of shared risk would even the scales i think.  it might even bring us
closer together as a society (but not too close, or you'll suffocate -see
above-).

a friend of mine once took my speedometer out and placed number one stickers
in front of the larger increment markers, but that only worked for a week.
imagine my initial surprise/fear as i found there was nothing i could do to
slow down enough in a school zone.  the best i could do was 110mph.
luckily, i thought,  these new model kids they make now can move at nearly
the same relative speed as good ole me and my AIRCOOLED van.  then later
that day one of the one stickers fell off as i pulled into my work parking
lot (at a blistering 125mph, in second gear!).  my dream world was
shattered, and my van was again slow.

did i mention that while routing the final section of my spiffy new bright
yellow 16 Gauge tachometer wire from the stern to the bow that i found,
attached to my wiring harness with two plastic pull-ties, a
ten-or-so-year-old pack of Cherry Lifesavers?

no joke.  it changed my whole day.

was this an option on the 1982 Vanagon L Westfalia?
the base models probably came with Butterscotch Lifesavers (yuch!), and the
GLs with real Scotch.

i've elected to leave them in place, since for all i know, they could be
essential to my van's rather ridiculously dependable performance over the
years.

if anyone else has suggestions in regards to Vanagon performance upgrades,
please, let the world, or just us, know.
thanks,
jason

i'd also appreciate any theories you may have as to how those Lifesavers got
where they got.