Date:         Fri, 12 Oct 2001 21:44:41 -0500
Reply-To:     Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Organization: not likely
Subject:      Re: Deer Strike Stories
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

> a motorhome with folks up from the Lower 48 had collided head-on
with
> Alaska's biggest deer ... a big in-the-prime bull moose. Something
had

deer? pashaw!
moose/elk? harumph!!

now, down here in Kudzu Kountry, we have the Supreme Dangerous
Beastie, in the category of You-Don't-Wanna-Run-Into-One-of-These:

Alligator.

yes, i know what you're saying:
- it's low and does no damage.
- they're not very big or very heavy.
- we can make handbags and wallets out of the carcass!

WRONG!!

while it is true that 'gators ain't exactly the tallest animal in the
world, they are tall enough to rip your suspension to shreds when/if
you try to drive over them. moreover, deer/moose/elk do NOT turn and
bite your tires ... or try to eat YOU if you step out of the vehicle!!

and there ain't usually any carcass ... the thing is still alive and
viable and now it's REALLY pissed cause you (or the car in front of
you) just drove over it without so much as a how-do-you-do?!! and a
really pissed gator is NOT something you want to be around ... true,
their little tiny legs are short and you naturally assume they can't
run very fast. that's where you are wrong, wrong, wrong ... as you
will find if you get within 20 feet of one that takes a disliking to
you. while they cannot run very FAR, they can move a helluva lot
quicker than you can for a short distance. and if you think you're
safe by approaching the non-biting end, let me remind you that being
hit by a swinging gator tail is somewhat akin to being hit by someone
using a telephone pole as a baseball bat. :)

the only factor that keeps the Gator Strike stories down is the fact
that gators don't rush out onto the highway. they just kinda lay
there, soaking up the heat from the pavement (or trying to cross over
the highway to get that chicken that just crossed a minute ago. or
crossing over to find some flying pigs). hence the nickname "speedbump
with legs". but just get them angry and you'll find out how much
damage to a car that speedbump can do. :(

and some of them suckers get rather large ... like as long as your
bus. and many hundreds of pounds. some even get as long as a Cadillac
and almost as heavy. about as pretty, too. :)

and those whistle thingies do NOT work with gators. neither do air
horns, sirens, brass bands, or even full orchestras. deaf as a post.
can't see well, either ... but they can smell. boy, can they smell!!
stink like water-logged rotting Spam!!!  and they will eat just about
anything they can grab hold of ... tires, bumpers, legs, arms, dogs,
children, etc.

so it's a really good idea to be extra careful when driving along the
boulevards and bayous of Gator Country (expecially down near the
Everglades) ... and remember:
Share the Road with a Gator. ;)

unca joel