Date:         Fri, 9 Nov 2001 05:46:24 -0700
Reply-To:     Gnarlodious <Gnarlodious@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Gnarlodious <Gnarlodious@EARTHLINK.NET>
Subject:      Stupid Sexist Friday Quasi-Humor.
Content-type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

Oil Change sequence for Women:
1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last
oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.
Money spent: Oil Change $20.00; Coffee $1.00; Total $21.00.

Oil Change sequence for Men:
1) Go to auto parts store and write a check for $50.00 for oil, filter,
kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.
2) Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back
to FLAPS to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3) Open a beverage and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beverage and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process.
12) Clean up mess.
13) Have another beverage while watching oil drain.
14) Look for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up;  poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.
16) Beverage.
17) Buddy shows up. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beverage. No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11;  buy beverage.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket
surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along
with drain plug.
27) Drink beverage.
28) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.
30) Drink beverage.
31) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin fit.
34) Throw wrench.
35) Curse for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December
36) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
37) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
38) Lower car from jack stands.
39) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.
40) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
step 23.
41) Test drive car.
42) Get in car accident.
43) Car gets impounded.
44) Get car from impound yard.

Money spent*: Parts $50.00; damage to car $2500.00 ; Impound fee, $75.00;
Beverages, $25.00; Total-- $2650.00
* But you know the job was done right!