Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 16:25:34 -0800
Reply-To: Dan Snow <dieselvanagon@HOTMAIL.COM>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Dan Snow <dieselvanagon@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Vanagon Olympics [was: Robbed !]
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
Oh, this is a good thread.
What about the wheelbarrel biathalon:
Entrants take a wheelbarrel into a junkyard and retrieve the most valuable
parts from a newly arrived Vanagon. A combination of low time and highest
value retrieved determines the outcome. Gender differences are the same as
in hockey. Men's competition: full contact allowed. Women's competition:
Some hip-checking, but no hitting with tools.
And the Head Bolt competition:
Closest to the right torque. DQ for stripping or breaking a bolt. Men and
women compete against each other. Women tend to dominate the breaker bar
category (remember this discussion with Gnarlodious?) and men tend to
dominate the torque wrench category.
>From: Tobin Copley <tobin.copley@UBC.CA>
>Reply-To: Tobin Copley <tobin.copley@UBC.CA>
>To: vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM
>Subject: Vanagon Olympics [was: Robbed !]
>Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 12:15:58 -0800
>
>At 11:13 PM -0800 2/11/02, Al Knoll wrote:
>>If you have to keep score it's a game.
>>
>>If you need a judge it's a pastime.
>>
>>If you need several judges it's a sham.
>>
>>The only real sports are motor racing, bull fighting and extreme skiing,
>>all
>>the others are mere games, or worse.
>
>Indeed! Let's start the Ist Vanagon Olympiad. Since the Olympics
>are such an enormous corporate cash cow, we should easily be able to
>get massive Corp. sponsorship--enough for Vanagon calendars for
>everybody!
>
>The Opening ceremonies would have hundreds of rusty dented Vanagons
>from all over the world filing into a huge stadium. The track would
>soon be slick with leaky oil and spilt antifreeze. The American
>vanagons would be so plastered with American flag bumper stickers
>they wouldn't need to carry a separate flag. The climax of the
>ceremony would be the lighting of the Olympic flame, in which a
>screaming young man would run into the stadium on fire because he
>spilled gasoline on his hot trouble lamp while replacing a rusty gas
>tank. He would run up a long flight of stairs and jump into a
>Vanagon high up on a pedestal--it would instantly burst into flames
>when a shorting starter circuit ignites the leaky high-pressure fuel
>lines. Very moving.
>
>Over the next week, events would include:
>
>Breaker bar competition:
>------------------------
>Removing the big rear wheel nut using an 18" breaker bar (women's
>competition uses a 24" breaker bar).
>
>Vanagon push-start competition:
>-------------------------------
>A two person team must push start a fully laden syncro Westfalia on a
>100m track. In the final medal competition, this is done uphill on a
>2% incline.
>
>Stalled Vanagon Super-G slalom:
>-------------------------------
>A fully laden Syncro Westfalia idles at the start gate until, at the
>start signal, the coil wire is pulled. A two person team pushes the
>Vanagon off the start platform to a running start, then hops in and
>pilots the Vanagon down a steep and twisty 3 km roadway without power
>steering or power brakes. The passenger is in charge of the hand
>brake.
>
>Stalled Vanagon Skeleton "luge":
>-------------------------------
>Using the same course and configuration as the Super-G above, only
>the engine is placed in neutral and the shift linkage uncoupled.
>
>Transmission bench press:
>-------------------------
>Removing the transmission from the car single-handedly without the
>aid of a floor jack. A bent input shaft results in disqualification.
>
>Diesel crankshaft bolt removal:
>-------------------------------
>Remove a stuck crankshaft bolt from a Vanagon diesel engine with the
>engine still in the car. Only standard hand tools permitted (Lower
>category may permit removal of oil pan and use of a 2x4 with a time
>handicap).
>
>Air-cooled pushrod tube removal and reinstallation:
>---------------------------------------------------
>No tools other than those used to remove valve covers and rocker arm
>assembly permitted. Points lost for denting the tubes. Covert use
>of duct-tape wrapping on tubes results in instant disqualification.
>
>I know there are other competitions, only I can't remember them all
>now. If anyone else can think of any I've forgotten, please chime in!
>
>T.
>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Tobin Copley Bowen Island, BC, Canada 49deg 23'N-123deg 19'W
>
>'82 Westfalia 1.6L NA diesel ("Stinky")
>'97 son Russell =============
>'99 daughter Margaret /_| |_L| |__|:| clatter
> SPEED KILLS! {. .| clatter!
> Drive a Vanagon diesel ~-()-==----()-~
Daniel Snow
'82 Vanagon Diesel
'78 Puch Maxi Luxe Moped
'01 Xootr Scooter
http://faculty.haas.berkeley.edu/snow/vanagon/vanagon.html
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