Internet News Vanagon Mailing List, World Wide Web Tuesday, April 16, 2002 By: Senior, Veteran, Pulitzer Prize Winning, Self Absorbed, and Handsome Correspondent, John E. Tullier Today, more conflict erupted in the Vanagon Mailing List as tensions mounted. There are no confirmed reports of casualties, yet evidence suggests that they exist. Secretary of State, Colin Powell was immediately dispatched to the region from Israel to broker a cease-fire. However, skepticism resides in Washington, and top presidential aides fear he will have little more success here than he has in the Middle East. The new wave of fighting has isolated some members of the mailing list, and brought heavy “flaming” from all sides. As of this afternoon, much of the Vanagon Mailing List Capitol City was still smoldering. The UN has dispatched an International Observation Force in an attempt to moderate the violence, yet this has yielded little success. Iam Bravfurbeinhere, our reporter at ground zero, has told Internet News that many innocent civilians are suffering in the region. A Mr. Ernie Dwinklefwat, who’s Vanagon is suffering from extensive mechanical misadventures, has been left virtually paralyzed. “I’ve tried to venture into the streets of the mailing list and seek help, but there is so much chaos I simply returned home for some beer and Cheetos,” said Mr. Dwinklefwat. The Pope made a public address from Vatican City today calling on all parties to end the conflict, and enter into an immediate cease-fire. If his demand was not heeded, he promised he would personally give everyone in the mailing list a good spanking. Professor Hugsfer Evrywon, at the North American Laboratories for the Civility of Internet Society, (NALCIS), made his own observations in a phone call interview to Internet News. “This is a classic example of human beings and their natural inclinations to be extremely nasty to one another. It takes far less energy and mental resources to simply refrain from the conflict, than it does to engage in actual battle.” He continued with, “I think the best thing for this situation is comedy. Satire and humor are by far the most valuable weapons that can be used against people who are taking a situation too far. Whenever my wife gets angry with me for being a typical male, I simply moon her and belch.” From the Author: Please see this post for what it is…pure fun. It’s been my experience that a laugh or a smile can often bring most confrontations to a stand still. At least long enough for all parties involved to re-examine the situation. I for one will offer no editorial on the controvery. I will say, however, that despite the labor of love necessary to maintain my over-weight Inbox, I am always grateful for the opportunity to access such a wealth of knowledge and experience. Thanks to all who have aided me in the past, and I look forward to averting future, unnecessary head scratching by utilizing this list and it’s members. John Tullier 1980 Vanagon L (German Sports Shuttle Bus)
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