Date:         Tue, 16 Apr 2002 22:10:49 -0700
Reply-To:     John Tullier <elefntkpr@YAHOO.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         John Tullier <elefntkpr@YAHOO.COM>
Subject:      U.S. Secretary of State, Colin Powell,
              dispatched to the Vanagon Mailing List
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii

Internet News
Vanagon Mailing List, World Wide Web

Tuesday, April 16, 2002
By: Senior, Veteran, Pulitzer Prize Winning, Self
Absorbed, and Handsome Correspondent, John E. Tullier

Today, more conflict erupted in the Vanagon Mailing
List as tensions mounted.  There are no confirmed
reports of casualties, yet evidence suggests that they
exist.  Secretary of State, Colin Powell was
immediately dispatched to the region from Israel to
broker a cease-fire.  However, skepticism resides in
Washington, and top presidential aides fear he will
have little more success here than he has in the
Middle East.

The new wave of fighting has isolated some members of
the mailing list, and brought heavy “flaming” from all
sides.  As of this afternoon, much of the Vanagon
Mailing List Capitol City was still smoldering.  The
UN has dispatched an International Observation Force
in an attempt to moderate the violence, yet this has
yielded little success.

Iam Bravfurbeinhere, our reporter at ground zero, has
told Internet News that many innocent civilians are
suffering in the region.  A Mr. Ernie Dwinklefwat,
who’s Vanagon is suffering from extensive mechanical
misadventures, has been left virtually paralyzed.
“I’ve tried to venture into the streets of the mailing
list and seek help, but there is so much chaos I
simply returned home for some beer and Cheetos,” said
Mr. Dwinklefwat.

The Pope made a public address from Vatican City today
calling on all parties to end the conflict, and enter
into an immediate cease-fire. If his demand was not
heeded, he promised he would personally give everyone
in the mailing list a good spanking.

Professor Hugsfer Evrywon, at the North American
Laboratories for the Civility of Internet Society,
(NALCIS), made his own observations in a phone call
interview to Internet News.  “This is a classic
example of human beings and their natural inclinations
to be extremely nasty to one another.  It takes far
less energy and mental resources to simply refrain
from the conflict, than it does to engage in actual
battle.”  He continued with, “I think the best thing
for this situation is comedy.  Satire and humor are by
far the most valuable weapons that can be used against
people who are taking a situation too far.  Whenever
my wife gets angry with me for being a typical male, I
simply moon her and belch.”

From the Author:
Please see this post for what it is…pure fun.  It’s
been my experience that a laugh or a smile can often
bring most confrontations to a stand still.  At least
long enough for all parties involved to re-examine the
situation.  I for one will offer no editorial on the
controvery.  I will say, however, that despite the
labor of love necessary to maintain my over-weight
Inbox, I am always grateful for the opportunity to
access such a wealth of knowledge and experience.
Thanks to all who have aided me in the past, and I
look forward to averting future, unnecessary head
scratching by utilizing this list and it’s members.

John Tullier
1980 Vanagon L (German Sports Shuttle Bus)


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* tHiS emalE wUZ Chek'D bY *
* mY-cRow-sOF sPalE cHk'R  *
* iF thaR 'r' eNNy misS-   *
* sPulLin's, bILL GaYTe'z  *
*      IZ'A dumMAss.       *
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