Date: Wed, 17 Apr 2002 17:29:09 -0400
Reply-To: "Barry E. Muller" <bmuller@UOFT02.UTOLEDO.EDU>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: "Barry E. Muller" <bmuller@UOFT02.UTOLEDO.EDU>
Organization: Home
Subject: Re: U.S. Secretary of State,
Colin Powell,dispatched to the Vanagon Mailing List
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Most excellent! Alas, I fear, as in the Mideast, this will not end the
bloodshed.
BTW, Ohio is considered to be in the Midwest, but its pretty far east;
shouldn't it (along with several other adjacent states) be considered
the Mideast?
bem
(oops, sorry its not Friday yet)
John Tullier wrote:
> Internet News
> Vanagon Mailing List, World Wide Web
>
> Tuesday, April 16, 2002
> By: Senior, Veteran, Pulitzer Prize Winning, Self
> Absorbed, and Handsome Correspondent, John E. Tullier
>
> Today, more conflict erupted in the Vanagon Mailing
> List as tensions mounted. There are no confirmed
> reports of casualties, yet evidence suggests that they
> exist. Secretary of State, Colin Powell was
> immediately dispatched to the region from Israel to
> broker a cease-fire. However, skepticism resides in
> Washington, and top presidential aides fear he will
> have little more success here than he has in the
> Middle East.
>
> The new wave of fighting has isolated some members of
> the mailing list, and brought heavy “flaming” from all
> sides. As of this afternoon, much of the Vanagon
> Mailing List Capitol City was still smoldering. The
> UN has dispatched an International Observation Force
> in an attempt to moderate the violence, yet this has
> yielded little success.
>
> Iam Bravfurbeinhere, our reporter at ground zero, has
> told Internet News that many innocent civilians are
> suffering in the region. A Mr. Ernie Dwinklefwat,
> who’s Vanagon is suffering from extensive mechanical
> misadventures, has been left virtually paralyzed.
> “I’ve tried to venture into the streets of the mailing
> list and seek help, but there is so much chaos I
> simply returned home for some beer and Cheetos,” said
> Mr. Dwinklefwat.
>
> The Pope made a public address from Vatican City today
> calling on all parties to end the conflict, and enter
> into an immediate cease-fire. If his demand was not
> heeded, he promised he would personally give everyone
> in the mailing list a good spanking.
>
> Professor Hugsfer Evrywon, at the North American
> Laboratories for the Civility of Internet Society,
> (NALCIS), made his own observations in a phone call
> interview to Internet News. “This is a classic
> example of human beings and their natural inclinations
> to be extremely nasty to one another. It takes far
> less energy and mental resources to simply refrain
> from the conflict, than it does to engage in actual
> battle.” He continued with, “I think the best thing
> for this situation is comedy. Satire and humor are by
> far the most valuable weapons that can be used against
> people who are taking a situation too far. Whenever
> my wife gets angry with me for being a typical male, I
> simply moon her and belch.”
>
> >From the Author:
> Please see this post for what it is…pure fun. It’s
> been my experience that a laugh or a smile can often
> bring most confrontations to a stand still. At least
> long enough for all parties involved to re-examine the
> situation. I for one will offer no editorial on the
> controvery. I will say, however, that despite the
> labor of love necessary to maintain my over-weight
> Inbox, I am always grateful for the opportunity to
> access such a wealth of knowledge and experience.
> Thanks to all who have aided me in the past, and I
> look forward to averting future, unnecessary head
> scratching by utilizing this list and it’s members.
>
> John Tullier
> 1980 Vanagon L (German Sports Shuttle Bus)
>
> =====
> ****************************
> * tHiS emalE wUZ Chek'D bY *
> * mY-cRow-sOF sPalE cHk'R *
> * iF thaR 'r' eNNy misS- *
> * sPulLin's, bILL GaYTe'z *
> * IZ'A dumMAss. *
> ****************************
>
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