Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 14:14:05 -0700
Reply-To: developtrust <developtrust@COX.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: developtrust <developtrust@COX.NET>
Subject: SOLUTIONS for IS THE LIST GETTING SMALLER?
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If there is one thing I have noticed about this list it is that there is a
core group of people who know a lot and who also sit back and let the trivia
play itself out.
The best way to handle rants and flames on a list like this is to ignore it
and not feed the fire. Then if it gets out of hand, contact the
administrator to ban the person and not the list. Most rants and flame wars
will die an early death if the self-righteous among the list just let it be.
By feeding the silly postings you further the waste of bandwidth.
Personally I am tired of those who take any opportunity to criticize, punish
or shame others. In a civilized group I will not allow you to tread on me.
In an uncivilized group I will just walk away because I know how violence
can get out of hand. I pride myself in being both educated and street wise.
And I still make many, many mistakes. I've made many with this group BUT I
have learned from my errors, made corrections in my input and changed the
way I participate as a silent way to respond the group consciousness which
is greater than any of us.
Like it or not, this group has a life force. No one can control it, so stop
trying. An administrator can stop ridiculous abuse and I think we all agree
this is a good to have.
I pay a lot of attention to the list and from where helpful comments come. I
have a short list of names and addresses I keep and post to them privately
most of the time when I need help-- then I go to the list if I do not get an
answer before I spend money. I also get a LOT of private email from people.
Thankfully most of it is positive help and some appreciative of my limited
but growing knowledge. A small amount is from the mean and nasty control
freaks attempting to squelch me. I say to them, "go for it and make my day."
I ignore most of it but I also have a very short list of the nasty jerks on
the list.
But in support of the originator of this thread I must say that I have not
left the list, BUT I have left public posting of my comments and especially
over reactions when I know I am just pissed. I do this out of respect for
the group as a whole even though a few posting of my own pissedoffedness
leaks through (like this one.)
I give most of my "help" by private email, and I ask for help from my short
list of new friends.
By the way I know a few people who never post to the list but are there in
the sidelines. They are just too busy making a living to handle 100 or more
posting a day.
William
still learning how to develop trust