Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 23:13:59 +0200
Reply-To: Robert Steven Fish <fish@SALZBURG.CO.AT>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Robert Steven Fish <fish@SALZBURG.CO.AT>
Subject: Re: IS THE LIST GETTING SMALLER?
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"
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...I still consider those type of listlurkers members of this nutty
community.
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Hi all,
I try to stay out of all the politically charged and emotionally loaded list
conversations (which number in the thousands of mail messages in teh past
months)... That is my choice.
But I feel a desire to pipe in here with my 2 cents worth. BenT has used
two words in his posting that somehow helped me to understand the situation
more clearly.
Nutty and Community
If you think about what the list really is, it is exactly that... A Nutty
Community. You could imagine it also being your own community, or
neighborhood since you "belong" to the list, in the same way that when you
move into a house or apartment, you "belong" to that neighborhood.
My point is, that I live now in 2 nutty communities. I have a neighbor
across the street who built a huge automated remote controlled gate that
closes off his driveway. A real piece of work! Since our street is quite
narrow, and hedges or fences are along both sides the entire length, I used
to always use his nice big driveway to back into with my Vanagon, when I
needed to drive the opposite direction that my Vanagon was parked in.
Anyway, I was out drawing with chalk in the street with my son, and saw the
neighbor putting the finishing touches on his masterpiece, so I struck up
some friendly neighborly conversation, asked him how the thing was working,
how powerful the motor was etc. Then I asked him why he felt it necessary
to build such a giant and complex gate. He looked at me and said something
like, "Well, now I don't have to deal with all those people pulling into my
driveway all the time just to turn their vehicles around".
Nutty Community.... I do not turn around in his driveway anymore.
I also have a virtual neighbor who is very opinionated and often rather
rude. He is particularly sensitive to issues regarding communists wanting
to take away his personal freedoms and rights. He will generally take a
discussion which concerns a controversial topic, and twist it right around
such that he starts to just make personal attacks on those who he is
discussing the issues with, and quite often, the issues fall by the wayside.
And as the insults fly, one would get the feeling that he is just an angry
person who is rather unsatisfied with his life, and is on the lookout for an
opportunity where he can attack other people, and/or their beliefs, ideas
and/or opinions.
Nutty Community.... I do not have discussions with this guy anymore.
In a real community people tend to hold back a bit, and NOT vent their rage
quite so excessively. In a real community where people have to live with
each other, and see each other, on a day to day basis, they need to act
civil at least. That doesn't mean necessarily that one loves his neighbors,
but one is somehow obliged to "get along" since the neighborhood is small,
and it is entirely possible that you might be stuck with each other for
decades if neither one is interested in, or capable of moving elsewhere. In
a real community, it is also a good idea to simply say "hello" to the
neighbor who you have "crossed off of your list" and just keep on walking
by, if you see him out cutting his lawn as you are having a casual evening
stroll.
As one distances oneself more and more from the "real" one is able to get
away with behavior which would otherwise not be possible when confronting
another person face to face. We drive through our various communities, and
if someone is tailgating us we instantly feel attacked, and in the protected
space of our automobiles, we are able to do things like give them the
finger, roll down the window and shout obscenities, or even dangerous
actions like hit the brakes real hard to "teach them a lesson".
When somebody drives in a manner that inconviences us, or endangers us, then
we generally take it personally and react emotionally (perhaps rightly
so)... but to simply take a few moments, and put things into perspective is
always a good idea, BEFORE reacting. I remember an older woman who was
driving so slow down a one way street, and then slowing almost to a stop at
every cross street, at a time when I was late for an appointment.... Yes, I
was frustrated, I did a bit of tailgating, and considered hitting the horn,
flipping her off, or yelling something..... Luckily I did not, as it turned
out to be someone who I actually knew, who was lost and looking for a good
friend of mine's house (which I noticed as she FINALLY pulled into their
driveway).
Nutty Community.
I have run out of gas on this reply... probably another reason why I do not
participate in the many "rants" on the list. I just don't have the energy.
But I do think that it is important that we all treat each other like we are
members of a community, because we are. On the list, off the list, at the
store, on the highway, in the hospital, at work, whatever... If we all just
tried to get along (in the immortal words of Rodney King), even if it means
NOT speaking our minds, simply for the reason that we know that our opinions
will hurt or offend others, then our communities would be better places for
everyone.
I try to teach my 5 year old son about how important it is to be nice to
people, and to not judge people, and to keep an open mind. I teach him that
humans are fragile, I told him that people are "made of glass" so he can
somehow relate to the fragility I speak of. I teach him that life is
precious, and that ever person deserves respect and love. I sincerely hope
that this list is still around when I hand over the keys to my 1987 Vanagon
to him in 11 years!
So please, stay nutty, stay a community, and keep on driving Vanagons, and
using good judgement.
RSF
<º)))>{ <º)))>{ <º)))>{ <º)))>{ <º)))>{ <º)))>{
Robert S. Fish
Salzburg, Austria
1987 Wolfsburg Vanagon 2.1 GL Weekender
1987 Golf Cabriolet
1991 Golf
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