Date:         Wed, 5 Mar 2003 16:49:42 -0800
Reply-To:     Robert Keezer <warmerwagen@HOTMAIL.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Robert Keezer <warmerwagen@HOTMAIL.COM>
Subject:      To All Tiico Owners:  Tiico Conversion fiction
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed

The phone rang, it was Greg Dodge:" Jon- have you heard what they are saying
about the Ticco on the Vanagon list?"

The Vanagon what? Jon replied. "You know, the internet site -  where
everyone's been reporting problems with their Ticco conversions!"

Jon was stunned. After 30 or more Ticco conversions that turned out
flawless- he could'nt believe his ears.
Nobody knew Tiicos like Jon did.

"What's the website address?" Jon demanded. Now he was going to find out
where and who these folks were, spreading lies and urban legends about the
Tiico engine conversion.
"I need to write them and set the record straight, before this spreads any
further. " he added.

Greg replied" OK, here it is- www.vanagon.com-you got that?"

He got it all right. He'd heard the rumors- now they were calling him. "Next
thing you know they'll be driving to my front door to deliver the bad news"
he thought.

But he knew what to do. Damage control was his specialty.
He would drop the bomb on them.

He went out back and fired up the Diesel generator.

His computer was fired by  power from a old 82 Diesel Rabbit pick-up with
the letter's SPORT TRUCK emblazoned on the sides, or was what was left of
them after 20 years of driving on Maine's salted roads.

It was an old Compaq, '93 model 3.1 Windows -forever crashing but thanks to
the rescue software he could keep it working.

"Dang this thing takes a long time to boot up"! he exclaimed , hacking away
on a cigar.

"I'll boot it up, right out into the snow". And he meant it.

After around 15 minutes he had the blue screen cleared out and in the search
box he typed in www.Vanagon.com.

After a long wait he snorted "That's the ticket"   as he tapped his fingers
like a row of rocker arms on a inline-four.

He typed in the message body SUBscribe Vanagon.
Bingo!
An instant server-generated message replied that he was now subscribed.

"Good". Jon spoke out-loud. He actually subscribed on the first try-he'd
heard that it was hard to subscribe to the Vanagon list.Even harder to
unsubscribe.  It was a good omen.

"Look at all these members!" the exclamation was low and thick, like a
growling dog. "Ah-ha! Here I go- I'll show these loud mouths who's the boss.

The strategy was simple. He would make the case that only the Ticcos he had
installed were flawless, and this because nobody's shop had 100 years of
experience like his did.
He wrote directly and to the point:

"Recently a few customers forwarded emails to me regarding many of you out
there appearing to try to "split the atom" when it comes
to this kit.  My customers were not concerned because in part their vans
have many miles of excellent running (from Vancouver to
Mexico, to Montana, etc.)...they just thought I'd be interested in all the
"Bad Rap" that they weren't experiencing.  I just
chuckled and deleted at first until I started fielding calls from people
with little to no experience bashing the product only
because of this forum and asking us to do other installs.

"That's why I'm here and I'll gladly go head to head with any one of you to
straighten out all this slander from a relatively small
group of inept people with big mouths"!

He continued on addressing all the Ticco problems that were solely the fault
of the owner.

Nothing was inherently wrong with the Tiico, after all. Problems were the
result of amateurs trying to do the work of professionals.

They were the arrogant ones, thinking that they could actually do their own
installation.  He knew the truth- only a shop with the latest equipment can
set up a Ticco. And there was some truth to that.

There was also some truth to the claims that not all the Ticco parts that
shipped with the kit were of good quality.

Some had vibration problems caused by poorly made brackets, oil coolers that
leaked, bolts and case drillings that broke from vibrations, poor  quality
non-VW hoses that burst, header pipes that were mounted to a solid flange ,
instead of a bellows flange as headers a manufactured by VW for the North
American market are.

It wasn't as if  there were'nt years of evidence on record of solid mount
flanges breaking on other makes and models of automobiles.


These problems were witnessed by others who owned Ticcos or knew those who
did own a Ticco. They were un-biased observations for the most part, and by
others on the Vanagon list trying to help.

These Tiico customers turned to the Vanagon list where many Ticco owners had
already turned to find support in an otherwise support-less Volkswagen
community.

Then -out of the blue- help came like a lightning bolt.
With a full back-up orchestra called a development team.

This team, previously unknown, was now our man Jon's job to reveal . He
would  see that the Ticco owners got the support they were unable to find
from a naive Ticco kit supplier.

It appeared that this naiveness was passed on to the Ticco kit consumer, and
at great cost.

One has little to worry when your new car  under warranty has problems. You
can count on your dealer.
Unfortunately, depite endless hours contacting Ticco for support, owners
have been left stranded with bolts shattering and mufflers cracking, but no
definitve answer as to the cause of these vibrations could be given. Until
now.

Here , in just a few paragraphs, the truth was displayed for the entire
vanagon list to see:

"so those out there spreading crap about
the Tiico ones being old factory left-overs are wrong, so shut it.
Vibration, especially on the diesels, was something the engineers
put a great deal of time into...so all of you out there with all this "free
time" of "re-inventing the wheel" on how to get rid of
vibration...you may want to listen up."

He liked the blunt approach. This always worked with his customers , it's
sure to work here also he reasoned. Besides,  there are too many of these
free thinkers out there on these mailing lists . This is good as a place to
start.

Jon took a long, deliberate draw on his cigar. 'Flame me?" he said in
self-defense" I'll show them who's got flames!

It was up to him, and he knew it. If any of these bad reports should make it
on 60 Minutes, the Ticco was doomed. He was certain.

As far as he was concerned , it was slander- and he was certain about it.
These "fluffers" would get theirs.

Under his breath he he invoked that all their WBX engines would spring head
leaks. "Hey, after all, that's more Ticco business for me " he chuckled.

It was almost finished- the message just needed a little proofing before
hitting the send key.

"Fair warning!",he shouted,as  he looked out the window and saw the Diesel
smoke plume wafting slowly up into the subzero sky.

"Mainly because others out there aren't savy enough to know you're full of
"fluff" and eventually you'll
start hurting the VW business as a whole and this site with your slander,
and that's not what this should be about."

"Done! "- he struck the send key and proceeded out the door, hitting his
head on the single bare light bulb covered with dust that hung from the
darkened ceiling.

The dust left a splotch of brown on his forehead.
"I'll have to fix that " he remarked as he closed the door.

Robert

1982 Westfalia














Robert
1982 Westfalia

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