Date:         Fri, 4 Apr 2003 11:26:08 -0800
Reply-To:     Alistair Bell <albell@UVIC.CA>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Alistair Bell <albell@UVIC.CA>
Subject:      joke of the day, Canadian content, little/no vanagon content
Content-type: text/plain; charset="ISO-8859-1"

While visiting England recently, Jean Chrétien is invited to have Tea with
the Queen. Given his recent political problems, he decides to take advantage
of her years of leadership experience and asks her what her leadership
philosophy is.

She responds that it is to surround herself with the most intelligent people
she can find and let them do their jobs.

Intrigued with this novel theory, Chrétien asks her how she is able to tell
if the people are intelligent.

"I do so by asking them a test question" responds the Queen. "Allow me to
demonstrate." The Queen then dials 10 Downing Street and asks to speak to
Tony Blair.

"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer a hypothetical question for me."

"I'll do my best, Your Majesty," responds Blair.

"Your mother has a child and your father has a child," says the Queen. "The
child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"

Tony Blair hesitates momentarily and then confidently replies, "Well, Your
Majesty, I guess it would have to be me."

"Correct" says the Queen. "Thank you and good day to you Sir."

The Queen hangs up and says "Did you hear that Mr. Chrétien? See how clever
he is."

Impressed, Chrétien replies, "I certainly did. I'll definitely be using that
one when I conduct my next Cabinet shuffle back in Canada."

Upon returning to Ottawa, Chrétien decides he'd better put some of his
senior Cabinet Ministers to the test. He summons Sheila Copps to his office
and says, "Madame Minister, I wonder if you could answer a question for me?"

"Why of course Sir" Copps responds eagerly, impressed that the Prime
Minister was actually seeking her input on something.

"Well, uh, let's say your mother has a child and your father too has a
child. This child is not your brother and also is not your sister. Who is
it?"

Somewhat surprised at this odd question, Copps hems and haws and finally
asks if she can have some time to think about it.

"Certainly" responds Chrétien.

Copps immediately calls a meeting of other senior Liberals and they puzzle
over the question for several hours. Totally baffled, they decide to conduct
some research and contact a loyal Quebec consulting firm. A budget of $10
million is provided and intensive research is carried out over the next two
weeks. Unfortunately, the consultants are unable to come up with an answer.

Desperate to impress her boss, Copps decides to take a chance and calls
Stephen Harper, who just happens to be in his office on Parliament Hill.

"I realize you are just an Alberta redneck and are not all that wise in the
ways of the world, but maybe you can help me out with a problem I have. I
will certainly make it worth your while. I can guarantee your constituency
at least a couple of hundred million in government spending over the next
year."

Harper is naturally skeptical about Liberal promises, but in the spirit of
political co-operation he agrees to do what he can to help out.

"O.K., here goes" says Copps. "Your mother has a child and your father has a
child. The child is not your brother or your sister. Who is the child?"

>Without hesitating, Harper responds, "It would be me, of course."

Impressed at the Albertan's quick response, Copps quickly brushes off Harper
and rushes to the Prime Minister's office.

" I know the answer to your question Sir!! I know who the child is!!"

Chrétien, who was privately becoming a bit concerned at the delay in hearing
back from Copps, is delighted.

"Who is it Sheila?" he asks. With obvious pride, Copps replies "It's Stephen
Harper Sir - its Stephen Harper!!"

Stunned, Chrétien shouts in disgust, "Wrong you idiot - it's Tony Blair!!"