Date:         Mon, 21 Jun 2004 09:49:57 EDT
Reply-To:     JordanVw@AOL.COM
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         JordanVw@AOL.COM
Subject:      Fwd: FW: Warning!  (NVC but  funny as hell)
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="US-ASCII"

 this gave me a good laugh... :<)

------------------------------------
Note: forwarded message attached.



To all my friends, thanks to you sending me all of the warning chain letters
in 2003:





* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing
toilet stains.





* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with
AIDS.





* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause
cancer.





* I never park my car in a parking lot or any other convenient place and
sometimes have to walk over 7 blocks for  fear that someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me or reach out from under my car slashing my legs with a
razor blade.





*I have to search for more expensive, full service gas stations for fear that
someone may have placed an aids infected needle on the self-service, pump
handle.





* I stopped answering the phone for fear that they will ask me to dial a
number which will result in a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda,
Singapore, Tokyo and Nigeria.





* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other
than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a
filthy lab so that places like McDonalds can make large profits.





* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick
from the rat feces and urine.





* I'm always alone because when I go to parties, I don't look at any woman no
matter how hot she is, for fear that she will drug me, take my kidneys and
leave me unconscious in a bathtub full of ice.





* I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account.  A sick little girl that
was about to die. Amazingly, she's been 7 since 1993 which is when she only
had six months to live.





*I won't answer the door to accept any UPS deliveries because the driver may
be a terrorist who bought his uniform on Ebay.





* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that
Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their
special, e-mail forwarding program.





* My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid
vacation to Disneyland.





* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain letter
that I broke, or forgot to follow, or did not send to enough friends which  gave
me a curse from hell.





IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the
next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you and you will develop massive
hemorrhoids.