Date:         Sat, 8 Jan 2005 12:58:10 -0800
Reply-To:     Pilgrim <pilgrim6@MINDSPRING.COM>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Pilgrim <pilgrim6@MINDSPRING.COM>
Subject:      Buying a Used Van
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii" ; format="flowed"

  Terminology If the ad claims...
  what it really means...

"Rough condition"
too bad to lie about

"Parts car"
beyond repair

"Immaculate"
recently washed

"concours quality"
recently waxed

"engine quiet"
won't start

"needs minor overhaul"
needs engine

"needs major overhaul"
unrecognizable as a car

"burns no oil"
it all leaks out

"rebuilt engine"
cleaned the spark plugs

"completely gone over"
cleaned the spark plugs.

"Drive it away"
parked on a hill.

"Drive it anywhere"
within 10 miles

"desirable classic"
no one wants it

"rare classic"
no one wanted it when it  was new.

  "stored 20 years"
in a farmer's field

  "extensive re-chroming"
front bumper buffed

"a real show-stopper
won't start and blocks traffic

"ran when stored"
won't start now

"never apart"
bolts too rounded to loosen.

"solid as a rock"
rusted solid

"restored, with 0 miles"
won't start.

"restored, with 2 miles"
starts but stalls

"older restoration"
first owner washed it.

"good investment"
impossible to depreciate further

"no time to restore it"
can't obtain parts

"95% complete"
other 5% doesn't exist.

"rich history"
many repair bills

"other interests conflict"
divorce pending

"many extra parts"
left over after I put it back together again