Date:         Tue, 22 Mar 2005 20:06:29 -0500
Reply-To:     Michael Wagner <mwagner628@COMCAST.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Michael Wagner <mwagner628@COMCAST.NET>
Subject:      Only other Vanagon owners understand the humor in this . . .
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Hi Folks -

There are just some things that only other Vanagon owners understand and can
relate to.  Like my recent trip through the Motor Vehicle Inspection lanes
here in Delaware.

As we all will probably agree, the people that work in most Motor Vehicle
bureaus aren't always of the cheerful persuasion.  They also are probably
all subjected to Klingon painsticks during their indoctrination into the
department, so they never show any emotion positively or negatively about
individual components of the testing regimen while you are going through, so
you never really know if you're in for trouble or not.  This is unfortunate,
and probably worse for us with aging vehicles that are not exactly
"mainstream" in design.

I took my 85 Westy in today for its every-other-year mandatory inspection.
As expected, they looked at me like I was an alien with three heads pulling
up in a flying saucer. After the usual light and wiper tests, the first real
grunt I got out of the guy was over the horn.  I had to tell him it wasn't
malfunctioning and was supposed to sound that way.

Then I got passed along a little further where a woman asked me where the
engine was.  Duh - as usual it was loud I enough I couldn't believe she
needed to ask, but I told her it was in the rear.  She walked around the
back of the van, then all the way around the front, then to the back again,
then came back to me to ask where the "hood" was.  I turned the engine off
and got out, which she was clearly not happy about, and told her I would
show her.  I asked why she needed to know that, and all I got was "I have a
test to do with the hood open".  I said "fine", opened the rear door, tossed
the padded cushion off the engine hatch, and pointed to it and said "OK -
there's the closest thing I have to a hood".  She said "oh no", and then
said "forget it".  I'm thinking this can't be good news.

She then asks me to get back in the vehicle and start it again.  I do.

She walks around the van again and finally after her second time around,
stops and lifts the electrical cover on the driver side.  After a couple of
seconds, she puts it down and finally asks me "where is the gas cap?".  I
turn off the van again, and get out, taking her to the passenger side and
pointing.  Of course, it is locked so I hand her the keys.  She can't get
the cap off, so I do it for her.  She then takes the cap away, and after 3-4
minutes comes back to tell me they don't have an adapter that will allow her
to test my gas cap.  Again, this can't be good news.

Back in the drivers seat, I'm told to turn on the engine again, and she puts
the emission test device into the tailpipe.  Of course, this is really the
only thing I am ever truly concerned about each time.  Fortunately, after
about 4 minutes, in typical DMV emotionless mannerisms she says "everything
passed", hands me a piece of paper, grunts a "you can pull forward now" and
then motioned to the next vehicle.  Gotta love it.  I'll have to try to get
her lane again in two years.  At least she'll know not to ask me the hood
question again.

MW