Date:         Sun, 3 Apr 2005 01:21:11 +1200
Reply-To:     Andrew Grebneff <andrew.grebneff@STONEBOW.OTAGO.AC.NZ>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Andrew Grebneff <andrew.grebneff@STONEBOW.OTAGO.AC.NZ>
Subject:      Re: Friday/OT notice to US listmembers
In-Reply-To:  <3e9a33749d5c09347f35d9dd4cfb14b4@uvic.ca>
Content-type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset=us-ascii

>NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
>by John Cleese
>
>1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.
>Then look up aluminium. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
>amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

in fact the Oxfart dictionary is dead wrong. The metal was named
according to the rules of metal nomenclature when being named after
its ore. The metal anding is -um. It was named after alumina, not
aluminia. Therefore the name is aluminum. The only reason an
incorrect spelling became established in England was a misprint in
the paper describing the metal... for some reason it was published
there and in the US simultaneously, whereas it should have been
published in only ONR journal.

>The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and
>'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness
>on your part.

Not at all. The letter is absolutely redundant and even misleading.
Labour shoulod be pronounced "la-boor".

>You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee')

Correct.

>and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise.

Archaic.

>You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g.
>Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if
>you
>can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Again, the English can't even pronounce their own language.

>The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders

This figure is dead wrong. it's actually 2.16.

>9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for
>your own good.

True. But so are British cars.

>When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

We all know about German cars, don't we? And they say that LUCAS is
the Prince of Darkness?

>All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts.

Roundabouts drive me nuts! And a law has just been introduced in NZ
so that we now have to indicate a right turn when going straight...
even at small roundabouts (everywhere here, now) when you don't
deviate from a straight line. insane.

>Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps.

Werne't they invented and named chips by an American?

>12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not
>actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper
>British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of
>known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager.

Any alsoholic beverage produced by fermenting hops is beer. Lager is
merely one type of beer. Dark ales are another.

>  The substances formerly known as American Beer will henceforth be
>referred to as Near-Frozen Knat's Urine, with the exception of the
>product of the American Budweiser company, whose product will be
>referred to as Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine.

This is wise.

>13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise

Harmonize

I wonder who really wrote that?
--
Andrew Grebneff
Dunedin
New Zealand
Fossil preparator
<andrew.grebneff@stonebow.otago.ac.nz>
Seashell, Macintosh, VW/Toyota van nut

HUMANITY: THE ULTIMATE VON NEUMANN MACHINE

DEMOCRACY: RULE BY THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR