Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2006 22:49:15 -0700
Reply-To: Robert Keezer <warmerwagen@YAHOO.COM>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Robert Keezer <warmerwagen@YAHOO.COM>
Subject: Re: Fryedaigh: Vanagon Haiku (my spoof)
In-Reply-To: <F1AFC2EC-7703-47FB-BFB2-7C5DA2D63615@knology.net>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
--- Jim Felder <felder@KNOLOGY.NET> wrote:
> I know this has probably been done a billion
> times, but I couldn't
> help but try my hand at it. Sorry for the
> thursday post but I'll be
> gone tamale.
>
> A mosquito hums.
> A dog barks. A mockingbird
> trills. A starter clicks.
The starter grinds something that smells like
roast chicken. The timing hole killed the mocking
bird. ( bellhousing make lousy birdnest moral of
story!)
>
> ***
>
> Rarer than a meal
> of hummingbird tongues, I search
> for diesel hoses.
Instead, I find a dozen hummingbird noses, or
what's left of the hoses- durn rats!!
>
> ***
>
> A split fuel line.
> Deep shame overcomes me now.
> Smoke fills the valley-
and the local tribesman bring fresh killed meat
for the roasting!
>
> ***
>
> Click. Click. Click. Click. Click.
> I pump my Dometic,
> feel only sad warmth. Then a sudden loud bang!
Flocks of pigeons scatter from under the bridge I
am parked under!
>
> ***
> In time I will know
> more ground points to scrape
> than I know today. And while I'm at it, the
shifter is lubed all the hinge joints
>
> ***
>
> A new journey dawns,
> miles I go before Oh, No!
> A clunk from behind.The transmission fell out
on the freeway! large semi-trucks eat up my rear
view mirror
>
> ***
>
> Shock. The summer moon
> reflects in a liquid pool,
> quiet beneath my van. Hello!! Boston Bob????
>
> ***
>
> The catalog comes.
> News from Germany is not
> good. Prices rise, tears.
Wollen Sie mich ein Syncro DOKA!!!
>
> ***
>
> Happiness glows now
> on every face. I walk
> into the dealership.I see all good people turn
their heads
Drivers vaunted!!!!!
>
> ***
> Deep in the night I
> drive alone in my travels.
> The coolant light blinks.
Time to catch 40 winks!
>
> ***
>
> No one knows who wrote
> The Bentley. No human did.
> It came from the gods.
Zod, you fool!!!!!!
>
> ***
>
> Old, frail, crumbling pod
> of instruments. I remove them
> perhaps for the last time.
And install Frank's Passat triple cluster!!
>
> ***
>
> Armies clash, children
> lose their homes, villages burn
> when tires are discussed.
Everyone hates tire treads on their internet
lawns
>
> ***
>
> Infinite lever
> positions. Where can I find
> cool air flowing out? Only a few rocket
scientists among us have the master lever charts
from Deuschland.
>
> ***
>
> A trail of tears leads
> away from my Vanagon.
> It mingles with oil.
Try adding Bardahl Stops Leaks!
>
> ***
>
> Mist clouds my rear hatch.
> The night is cold, dare I stop?
> My heart says drive on. My gut feeling is
that's not a mist- the dog needs a potti stop!
>
> ***
>
> Like a cruel ghost
> who I stab but will not die,
> my coolant light blinks.
It's the ghost of Wolfsburg Crest, he gives me no
rest!
>
> ***
> I ask the list how
> to choose the right motor oil
> and they flame my ass.
Ride a donkey that chews grease, I mean, grass.
>
> ***
>
> Only poor people
> own old Vanagons, only
> rich people drive them.
Strangers shall dump loads of spare parts into
your bosom!
>
> ***
>
> Many sounds and smells.
> Not an alley in Cairo,
> I started my diesel.
Then I awoke- I am in Cairo! HELP!!!!!!!!
>
> ***
>
> In firefly light, the
> alternator suddenly
> goes out. Please, a Ford.
I got a deal on a Chevy for ya!
>
> ***
>
> Dometic question:
> Does your fridge stay lit while you
> drive down the highway?
No because I need to remove it , put it upside
down for 24 hours, clean the burn chamber, ad a
few more slots to the flame spreader, clean the
nozzle, as some brushless fans, do the air pump
mod, and reinstall it!
>
> ***
>
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