> A public school teacher was arrested today while driving a Vanagon >at the Montana border crossing in > possession of a ruler, a > protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a > calculator. > > At a morning press conference, Attorney General > Alberto Gonzalez said he > believes the man is a member of the notorious > Al-gebra movement. He did not > identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI > with carrying weapons of > math instruction. Al-gebra is a problem for us," > Gonzalez said. "They desire > solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go > off on tangents in a search > of absolute value. They use secret code names like > 'x' and 'y' and refer to > themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined > they belong to a common > denominator of the medieval axis with coordinates > in every country. As the > Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are > 3 sides to every > triangle." >
> When asked to comment on the arrest, the President > said, "If God had wanted > us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He > would have given us more > fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters > they could not recall a > more intelligent or profound statement by the > president.
TGIF |
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