Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2007 00:44:32 -0600
Reply-To: joel walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: joel walker <jwalker17@EARTHLINK.NET>
Subject: Re: fwd: AWRIGHTIE THEN! it's FRYDAYE somewhere!!! :)
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=original
firstly, let's run a mite amuck for a few seconds (or minutes,
depending on how fast you can read):
Jabber-Jabber List
by Screwloose Feral
'Twas Frydaye, and upon the List
Were Minds of fetid thoughts so bent,
Toward Topics of the rankest Grist,
That admins cringe, but Rules relent.
"Beware the Jabber-Jabber List!
"Of emails flowing without end!
"Of Subject: Rust and Heat and Tires,
"That like the Seasons come again!"
He paused his fingers o'er the keys,
In thought he lingered, half asleep ...
Then slow and painful typed the words
As came they bubbling from the deep.
And from the keyboard, one by one,
The clicking noise disturbed the Night,
Drove out the Silence of the Lateness,
Sounded like a cricket fight.
Vee, Hay! Enn, Hay! Gee, Oh, Enn!
The keyboard groaned beneath his strokes!
Til grabbed he mouse and with one click,
A message sent to email folkes.
"And art thou finished yet, My Love?"
Said Wife while filing on a nail;
"About damned Time! Then go to bed!"
But said Computer: You Have Mail.
'Twas Frydaye, and upon the List
Were Minds of fetid thoughts so bent,
Toward Topics of the rankest Grist,
That admins cringe, but Rules relent.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
now that that is out of the way, and the Tone of Topics has been set
....
(real magazine, real article. no joke)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Road & Track
People, Places + Things
April 2007
What's your Sign?
After reviewing 160,000 ancient claims over a three-year period,
Suncorp Metway Ltd. found that Geminis were the worst drivers,
followed by Taurus and Pisces.
The study also revealed that Capricorns are the best drivers,
followed by Sagittarians and Scorpios. A similar study by a
British insurance company found that Leos reported the highest
number of accidental damage claims and, along with Cancers, are
twice as likely to submit claims as Geminis, Pisces, and
Sagittarians.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
now, for those of us who don't keep up with how the stars are running
our lives, ;) here's the list of your signs and birth dates:
(from www.astrology-online.com and other such drivel)
Capricorn -> December 23 - January 20
Aquarius -> January 21 - February 19
Pisces -> February 20 - March 20
Aries -> March 21 - April 20
Taurus -> April 21 - May 21
Gemini -> May 22 - June 21
Cancer -> June 22 - July 22
Leo -> July 23 - August 21
Virgo -> August 22 - September 23
Libra -> September 24 - October 23
Scorpio -> October 24 - November 22
Sagittarius -> November 23 - December 22
although i was told by a nice ol' planetarium fellow that the signs
were all wrong ... that in the 2000 years since that mess really took
hold on folks, the stars have all shifted ... so if you think you're
a Capricorn, you're really a Sagittarius. ;)
so me? i'm a Caprittaricorn. :)
that's a half-goat half-man, with a slingshot ...
you know, a poor little lamb that has gone astray; baaaaah, baaaaah,
baaaaaah.
sort of a Wiffenpoof with an attitude. ;)
---------------------------------------------------
all of which brings us to THE QUESTION:
do buses have personalities that match the zodiac,
according to their build-date? :)
of course, they do!! and here's how it works:
Zodiac/Astrology for Buses
12 signs ...48 weeks
it is the week from the start of calendar year
skip 4 weeks in august when the whole country goes on holiday
Sign of the Horn
week 1 through week 4
cranks every time, laughs at your driving (behind your back),
but just knows that you're gonna hit something one day.
Sign of the Water Pump
(in aircooled-land, this is known as Sign of the Oil Pump)
week 5 through 8
couldn't care less if you hit something.
might crank. or it might not. comes up with a new
problem every few months.
Sign of the Radiator
(in aircooled-land, this is known as Sign of the Oil Cooler)
week 9 through 12
scared of all drivers, wishes it was a Porsche,
but can be talked into long trips, and afterward is glad
it went.
Sign of the Bumper
week 13 through week 16
always ready to go on trips, even with low fuel and
without checking the tire pressure. will sometimes
get you into trouble. similar to Labrador Retrievers
Sign of the Transmission
(doesn't seem to matter whether manual or automatic)
week 17 through week 20
patient with all drivers, loves people,
but jealous of other cars. desires lots of attention
and accessories.
Sign of the Wheel
week 21 through week 24
can be used for camping, cargo, taxi, dump truck,
and anything else you can think of. thinks of
drivers as a necessary evil, but gets a bit nervous
around a full load of people.
Sign of the Rust
(sometimes called Sign of the Body or Chassis)
week 25 through week 28
bonds with drivers, sometimes overemotional about
them. people find it difficult to sell these buses.
Sign of the Engine (or Motor)
week 29 through week 32
'comfortable', faithful. sometimes can be
condescending to non-owners. insistant that buses
are the only useful vehicles and doesn't like
to be garaged with other cars.
Factory Setup/Changeover
week 33 through week 36
any buses built during this period are considered
to be under the Sign of the Wrench (which is not
technically part of a bus) -
confused, unsure, and frightened of drivers and
other cars, especially on highways. wanders in its
lane. sulks and sometimes refuses to start.
Sign of the Windshield
week 37 through week 40
shy. doesn't like to drive on crowded highways.
rush hour creates driving problems that can't be
recreated later. always thinks it needs a wash and wax.
Sign of the Suspension
week 41 through week 44
easily charms non-owners and passengers.
thinks it is a Porsche.
Sign of the Shift Linkage
(in trailer circles, this is known as Sign of the Trailer Hitch)
week 45 through week 48
loves to be driven fast, hates other cars.
hides problems from mechanics.
Sign of the Steering
week 49 through week 52
loves hippies and grateful dead music.
sees the world as one big highway.
and for those of you who also factor in the day of the week as
meaningful
and significant in the prescribing of personality traits to such
inanimate
objects as our buses ...
you know like the old poem "Monday's child is fair of face, " ...
well, here it is for buses:
Monday's bus was made apace,
ruled by the Moon
lundi, Montag
Tuesday's bus will win the race,
ruled by Mars
mardi, Dienstag
Wednesday's bus has far to go,
ruled by Mercury
mercredi, Mittwoch
Thursday's bus has loads to tow,
ruled by Jupiter
jeudi, Donnerstag
Friday's bus is fair and true,
ruled by Venus
vendredi, Freitag
Saturday's bus has naught to do,
ruled by Saturn
samedi, Samstag/Sonnabend
But a bus that's made on the Sabbath Day
Just doesn't exist -- that's all I say.
ruled by the Sun
dimanche, Sonntag
insightful commentary always welcome. :)
Hahppie Frydaye, y'all!! may all the kudzu grow in your neighbor's
yard. :)
unca joel
