Date: Sun, 5 Sep 2010 08:05:14 -0400
Reply-To: Mike <mbucchino@CHARTER.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Mike <mbucchino@CHARTER.NET>
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Australian Etiquette
Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
reply-type=response
His intelligence and wit will be sorely missed.
My personal favorite posting from Andrew..........
We hardly knew ye.......
Mike B.
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From: "Andrew Grebneff" <andrew.grebneff@STONEBOW.OTAGO.AC.NZ>
Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 3:21 AM
To: <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
Subject: Fwd: Australian Etiquette
>> >IN GENERAL
>>>1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
>>>2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
>>>3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
>>>4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
>>>5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
>>>your ute (or VW van) and trailer to the funeral.
>>>
>>>DINING OUT
>>>1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
>>>so
>>>as not to bruise the wine.
>>>2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
>>>
>>>ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
>>>1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
>>>taxidermist.
>>>2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
>>>manners.
>>>
>>>PERSONAL HYGIENE
>>>1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in
>>>private,
>>>using one's OWN ute keys.
>>>2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
>>>3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
>>>4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste
>>>of
>>>finger foods and if you are a woman, it can draw attention away from your
>>>jewellery.
>>>
>>>DATING
>>>1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
>>>2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go
>>>out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years
>>>ago."
>>>3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will
>>>say
>>>11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's
>>>the
>>>man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
>>>
>>>THEATRE ETIQUETTE
>>>1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the
>>>movie
>>>ends.
>>>2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have
>>>proven they can't hear you.
>>>
>>>WEDDINGS
>>>1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
>>>2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
>>>popularity.
>>>3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund
>>>and
>>>clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
>>>4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
>>>
>>>DRIVING ETIQUETTE
>>>1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's
>>>loaded
>>>and the roo's in your rifle sight.
>>>2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar
>>>doesn't
>>>always have the right of way.
>>>3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
>>>4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite
>>>to
>> >ask her to bring back beer too.
>
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