Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 12:38:57 +0200
Reply-To: Aristotle Sagan <killer.jupiter@GMAIL.COM>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Aristotle Sagan <killer.jupiter@GMAIL.COM>
Subject: Re: Fw: Fwd: Australian Etiquette
In-Reply-To: <9FD7DDA382014F38B4B5C0FB3071A117@Mikelaptop1>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1
And here I thought it was impolite to bring only one stubby to a job
interview. Always thought if you brought a case, the job was certainly
yours. By unanimous consent.
Andrew.. RIP.
tim in Aachen Germany.
On Sun, Sep 5, 2010 at 2:05 PM, Mike <mbucchino@charter.net> wrote:
> His intelligence and wit will be sorely missed.
>
> My personal favorite posting from Andrew..........
>
> We hardly knew ye.......
>
> Mike B.
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Andrew Grebneff" <andrew.grebneff@STONEBOW.OTAGO.AC.NZ>
> Sent: Wednesday, April 12, 2006 3:21 AM
> To: <vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
> Subject: Fwd: Australian Etiquette
>
> >IN GENERAL
>>>
>>>> 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
>>>> 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
>>>> 3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
>>>> 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
>>>> 5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
>>>> your ute (or VW van) and trailer to the funeral.
>>>>
>>>> DINING OUT
>>>> 1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
>>>> so
>>>> as not to bruise the wine.
>>>> 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
>>>>
>>>> ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
>>>> 1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
>>>> taxidermist.
>>>> 2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
>>>> manners.
>>>>
>>>> PERSONAL HYGIENE
>>>> 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in
>>>> private,
>>>> using one's OWN ute keys.
>>>> 2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
>>>> 3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
>>>> 4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste
>>>> of
>>>> finger foods and if you are a woman, it can draw attention away from
>>>> your
>>>> jewellery.
>>>>
>>>> DATING
>>>> 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.
>>>> 2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
>>>> go
>>>> out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years
>>>> ago."
>>>> 3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will
>>>> say
>>>> 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's
>>>> the
>>>> man's responsibility to get her to school on time.
>>>>
>>>> THEATRE ETIQUETTE
>>>> 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the
>>>> movie
>>>> ends.
>>>> 2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have
>>>> proven they can't hear you.
>>>>
>>>> WEDDINGS
>>>> 1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
>>>> 2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
>>>> popularity.
>>>> 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund
>>>> and
>>>> clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
>>>> 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
>>>>
>>>> DRIVING ETIQUETTE
>>>> 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's
>>>> loaded
>>>> and the roo's in your rifle sight.
>>>> 2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar
>>>> doesn't
>>>> always have the right of way.
>>>> 3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
>>>> 4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite
>>>> to
>>>>
>>> >ask her to bring back beer too.
>>>
>>
>>
--
Where ever you are, there you be. Unless you're driving my van, in which
case, you ain't got there yet.
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