Date: Thu, 30 Jun 2011 13:31:50 +0000
Reply-To: J Stewart <fonman4277@COMCAST.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: J Stewart <fonman4277@COMCAST.NET>
Subject: Re: Demons IV
In-Reply-To: <BANLkTi=dgO3rAW=5dhja++oXSB_X1K=ccg@mail.gmail.com>
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Would this be the Dixie Sheetmetal in Falls Church VA. by any chance? I went there to get the 3" square tube to fabricate my hitch bumper for my Vanagon. The guy at first told me I had to buy a 20' section for $995.00. I told him I just needed 6' and the was no way in hell I was buying a 20' piece. As we walked around the place, I noticed in their dumpster a piece of square 3x3" sticking out. It was 7 feet long. Perfect. Now, this had been "trash" but suddenly it was worth $30.00! A fair price I figured, but the guy did joke that had I come by after closing time I could have had it for free. I told him I was making a bumper for a pick up truck. Saying it was for a Vanagon only would have confused him. I have bought other stuff from them over the years, and when I was learning to weld they let me have scraps out of their dumpster to practice on.
Jeff Stewart
----- Original Message -----
Rust Demons IV- Sheeetmetal
Yesterday I went to Dixie Metalwork to get some sheet metal to replace a
piece of paneling on my truck. With a special THANX to Ken W. for finding
me the panel, I decided to try my hand at cutting and patching first. So in
I go to Dixie Metalwork not knowing what kind of metal I needed but thinking
this should be easy with these experts to help me. So of course I meet a
fine specimen of Southern Hospitality I shall call BillyBob, and the
conversation gets as mired down as a Westy Syncro in the bayou with all our
toolboxes on board. When I was growing up in New York the longest word in
the English language was antidisestablishmentarianism. Down south they have
an even longer word, I won’t spell it out in this polite company, but
BillyBob sounded out sheet metal as “sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetmetal”. For
the brevity of this post and to save a lot of letters, I’ll abbreviate my
new word as sh*tmetal for the duration of this post. Now you know what I’m
talkin’ about. I must admit I ain’t got no accent, but BillyBob gots
hisself some kinda speech impediment, ‘cause we is not communicating. As
the man once said, “What we have heah, is a failuya tocommunicate.” After
much gesticulation and pointing on both our parts, my sheet metal never
linked up with BillyBobs sh*tmetal. In desperation I took BillyBob out to
my truck and pointed at the rusty panel. His only comment I could
comprehend was, “That ain’t no truuuuck, get you a Chevy.” So I left Dixie
Metalwork empty handed and almost empty headed, but I got a new word out of
the deal, sh*tmetal. We are a common people separated by a common language.
.
Perhaps I may have wondered just a Wii bit from the topic. (Hey, did you
notice that clever word play nod to the digital age?) (Let’s not start THAT
again!)
Anyway, when I got home I remembered there were old junker cars in the class
and I could get metal from them. So I was ready for my auto body class, and
didn't have to go to a store and learn a new word in the first place. So
please don't bother reading the first part of this post.
.
Last night I had to cut a rather large chunk out of the louvered panel on
the passenger side of the truck. I tried to reach the inside of the panel
from the engine compartment to facilitate cleaning and to access the total
rust problem. No matter how hard I tried to reach the sh*tmetal from the
tight engine compartment, I kept banging my head on the lobotomizing framing
member blocking me. Since this beam is in the engine compartment of my
truck, I will call it the Auto-lobotomy Beam of Destiny. (snicker,
snicker). With many more sparking rooster tails flowing over the bed of the
truck, and a mental note NOT to wear open-toe sandals next week, I did the
grinder/cutter trick again and removed a healthy chunk of the panel from the
outside, leaving me access to clean and neutralize the remaining rust before
welding. Then I cut a replacement panel from the hood of a junker Toyota to
use on my truck. I hope the list won’t think less of me, or the truck for
that matter.
.
Next week I will meet "Mr. Box and Pan Brake" to bend the sh*tmetal to my
will, and I will be prepared for the Auto-lobotomy Beam of Destiny. I shall
study either "The contortionist guide to VW maintenance" or the rather more
adult "The 15 positions of mechanical bliss in the Karman-Ghia-Sutra." I
shall then sneer disdainfully as I slide over, around, and pass the
Auto-lobotomy Beam of Destiny on my way to tack weld the new sh*tmetal in
place.
ed- I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy
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