Date: Tue, 5 Jul 2011 13:17:13 +0000
Reply-To: J Stewart <fonman4277@COMCAST.NET>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: J Stewart <fonman4277@COMCAST.NET>
Subject: Re: Harpies I
In-Reply-To: <CAFwVvJAK+4S2gc=n6am6BPyb7Gpqu2Hbq7ruC+aZ5xkWp7LdbA@mail.gmail.com>
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Ahhhhhh, yes life in the big city! If it weren't for a job I have been at for 32 years in the the DC area (no, not the federal government) I'd be sooooooooo out of this horrible area!! As it is, living in the DC area has probably already shortened my life by 10 years. And I have a company car, a 2010 PT Cruiser, it is just over a year old and already has 31,600 miles on it-all in the DC area! Sorry to hear about your troubles Ed, and I'm glad you weren't physically hurt. Over 30 years ago, my wife (before she was my wife) dragged me into DC to see the fireworks-I hated every freaking moment of it. To get a good spot, we had to get there at 10:00am. It was broiling hot with not a bit of shade anywhere in site. Going to the bathroom meant standing in a loooooong line at a porta-potty. It was a horrible, long hot day, and I vowed NEVER to go into DC again for fireworks. However, my own 4th of July nightmare-the annual fight over my daughter wanting to climb up on the roof of the Westy to watch the fireworks at a local display. I've had Westy's since she was 5, she is now 18. I have never let her get on the roof, but it doesn't stop her from whining about it every damn year. Then my wife gets mad at me because I won't let her. Every year it's the same....<sigh>
Jeff Stewart
----- Original Message -----
This is a trip report. This is a true story. This is also scary.
Night of the Harpies, Part I
Prologue:
The trip starts out like any other; July 4, Washington DC, after the
fireworks, driving to route 66. [Que music] Suddenly, you're traveling
through another dimension -- a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of
mind. A journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of
imagination. That's a signpost up ahead: your next stop: the Harpy Zone!
Captains log: 10:30 PM
Traveling in the right lane at approximately 5 MPH in heavy traffic, there
is a sudden "nudge" to the side of your truck.
A car has attempted to cut into line, only to "touch" your truck. Being a
safe driver the right side doors are locked and windows closed, and you had
stopped in bumper-to-bumper traffic in the right lane. The car in question,
a Nissan Maxima, 4 door, driven by Harpy Secondary (with three other harpies
inside) swung into the rear quarter panel, right side. Subsequent
inspection later with a law enforcement officer would reveal the damage to
be two scratches approx. 8 inches in length, 2' high, no denting.
The Harpy Strikes:
Having felt such a minor touch, you move forward a few feet to see if the
driver whished to mention it at all or just let it go (as she was at
fault). Passenger front side door opens and a Harpy emerges racing forward,
screeching and cursing, using many words ending in "ing" beating the right
side of your truck and attempting to gain entrance, issuing threats. A
post-mortem would reveal talon marks on the door. Fearing for your safety
you tap the clutch once to move her away from your vehicle, and when she
strikes again and tries to gain entrance you drive forward (there is now
room) and make the right turn onto Lee Highway.
The Pursuit:
As you drive down Lee Highway the harpies range up on your left side, make
attempts to move into your lane while Harpy Prime continues to curse and
threaten out the passenger window, continuing the barrage with many words
ending with "ing" again. Things are starting to get weird, even by your
usual standards.
A Flurry of Harpies:
You enter route 66 (stop and go heavy traffic) heading west in the hopes
harpies fear witnesses. You observed them drive on the shoulder ahead of
you, both front doors and trunk fly open, and two Harpies, Prime and
Secondary, jump out of the car and go to the trunk and reach in searching
for something. You start to franticly wave and move into the left lane in
an attempt to keep at least one lane of traffic between you and them. The
Harpies proceed to walk out into traffic, stopping the right lane, approach
your vehicle, and began screaming ing, ing, ing, threatening, and beating
the truck and attempting a forced entry on the right side. Noticing the
harpies have nothing in their hands, you decide to let them live (harpies
are soft and squishy, you are in a steel truck; no contest).
The Second Pursuit:
Having been boxed in once, you drive around the stopped van in the right
lane and proceeded to drive on the right shoulder to prevent them from
gaining the advantage of another attack and in the hopes that traffic
officers would be posted along route 66 so they might provide assistance.
You drive at a moderate speed on the right shoulder (your truck isn't as
fast as their car, and if they decided to rear end you it would add
additional complications of high speed with the impact.) You continue west
on 66 hoping to be pulled over by an officer (You don’t have a cell phone).
This has all been too much. I think I will make a really good Gin & Tonic
and have a lie down. I’ll be back later.
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