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Date:         Wed, 19 Oct 94 23:50:10 -0600
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         wself@viking.emcmt.edu (Will Self)
Subject:      Story!

As usual, folks, another Friday First! from Will Self: the new literary genre that's all the rage!!--the Vanagon Detective Story!

--------------------------

As I sat at my desk in this sleazy joint that calls itself The Uncle Willy Automotive Detective Agency, a blonde dame came through the door like an old air-cooled pancake on fire. If my gut feeling about dames like this was right, I was going to need a bracer. I pulled open the desk drawer with the 35mm socket in its holster and the Southern Comfort. The socket got to stay in the drawer--it was Comfort I was after. I had recently refilled the bottle with the recommended VW blue coolant.

I took a long swig, taking my time and squinting at the dame as I swallowed. She looked as impatient as a Porsche backed up behind a cross-country Vanagon tour. I handed her the bottle. Without a word, she downed the rest of it and pitched the bottle through the open window, where it landed on a pile of CV joints with a crash.

"Hey, that stuff ain't cheap," I growled. "Here, if you're going to drink like a wasserboxer radiator, pour this down the maw." I handed her an unopened bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Never touch the stuff," she hiccupped. "Look, Willy. The name is Marsha, the game is a hot investigation of counterfeit VW emblems."

My ears pricked up. They always do when someone calls me Willy. Frankly, it gives me the willies. But I was interested in the part about hot.

"I'm interested in the part about hot," I sneered. "When it comes to blonde dames, hot is my favorite part." I smiled--if you can call it a smile--and showed her my muffler burns. "I'm an expert on hot."

"So you're hot," she cooed. "Here, this'll cool you down," she said, pouring the Jack Daniels on my crotch.

----------to be continued-------------

(I'm in Missoula this weekend. Thanks to Jim Brill, who does freelance work, for posting this for me.)


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