Date:         Fri, 20 Jan 95 15:11:21 CST
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <JWALKER@ua1vm.ua.edu>
Subject:      you know it's friday, folks ...

ok. some selfish bunch of low-lifes have cast despersions upon the name of
our little group here, and i feel the need to clarify some of the finer
points in that regard:

VANAGON =>   VAN-A-GON

Van - "1. a: a usually enclosed wagon or motortruck used for
             transportation of goods or animals; also CARAVAN.
          b. a detachable passenger cabin transportable by aircraft
             or truck.
       2. chiefly British: an enclosed railroad freight or baggage car."
A   - one. unit. "used as a function word before singular nouns when
      the referent is unspecified, and before number collectives and
      some numbers <"a dozen">.  "used as a function word before a mass
      noun to denote a particular type or instance."
GON - or GONO. sexual; generative; semen; seed.
      also, as a suffix: figure having (so many) angles <decagon>

now, breaking this down into managable pieces, we find the following:

usually enclosed - that pretty much fits all of us. i don't believe
    there are any convertibles buses out there. without tops, anyway.
wagon or motortruck - yup. that fits everybody. at least, every van in
    the group at one time had a motor.
transportation - yup. still good. even those which are no longer running
    are able to transport us on flights of fantasy.
goods or animals - well, we all certainly seem to fit that last part.
    and we do carry 'goods' around now and then.
caravan - even more convincing, as this bastardized roller skate became
    the primary competition for our beloved Volkswagens!
detachable passenger cabin - sounds like a description of the pop-top
    campers to me. i just don't know what more words could do.
British - even with our common language difficulties, it should be
    patently obvious that they agree with us on this matter.

one - haven't seen many multiple buses hooked together going down the
    freeways.
before singular nouns - well, that means a GON is a singular noun.
    (see definition of GON, above)
before mass nouns - aha. GON can also be a mass noun (see definition of
    GON, above).
before number collectives - well, how many vans have YOU ever seen that
    could carry only ONE person? none for me, thank you. so all our vans
    will qualify for 'number collectives', eh?
to denote a particular type - Type 2. can there now be ANY doubt?

sexual - well, what can i say? we've been over and over this with
    Martha and Steven and Ric and others too numerous (there's that 'number
    collective' again!) to mention, so it would certainly seem to fit.
    and what manner of vehicle first sported the bumper stickers reading:
    "if this van's rocking, don't bother knocking"??
many angles - certainly very descriptive of the many facets of our tiny
    group of finaglers and con artists, trying to get help for free and
    xeroxes of the wife's backside, etc.

so ... the True Definition should be obvious to even the most casual
observer. however, in the interest of some limited testosterone-
impoverished members of the group, the proof will NOT be left to the
student as an exercise. :)

what a Vanagon is, is a bunch of horney Van folke, with many angles,
transporting goods and animals across state lines for immortal
porpoises. :)

so ANY Van type is described, and therefore included, in said
definition. now, we DO feel the need to be selective and limited this
to only those Van types from Volkswagen, but the name VANAGON seems
perfectly suited to such a large and diverse group as this. :)

the fact that VW chose to stick that very same label on its north
american vans during the years of 1980 through 1991 is simply pure
coincidence, and a whim of advertising by its north american marketing
idiots.

there. i feel much better. :)  so you see, folks, that it's NOT a year or
model-specific name that we use. no, indeed. the name Vanagon List is very
indicative to ALL of the volkswagen buses ever made and ever to be made.
why, i would venture to say that our eurovan drivers are every bit as horny
and devious as the rest of us ... i certainly know that Ric is. devious,
that is. (i only suspect his horniness).

so whether *I* call it a Microbus, or Bus, or Vanagon, or Eurovan in the
stats doesn't really matter ... cause you can't sue me! nyah nyah nyah! :P
but the list name is that of ALL VW buses (see long-winded diatribe above)
and should not set anyone on edge about THEIR vw bus being left out.

besides ... the name SOTO was already taken. :(

joel