Date:         Fri, 15 Sep 1995 10:42:09 -0700
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         jim@atcweb.atc.1dc.com (Rusty VanBondo)
Subject:      Re:Bad movies w/o VWs (f)

>If you want to see a lot of busses, check the movie "Gone in Sixty Seconds".
> This thing has bad acting, lousy directing, no plot at all, but all kinds of
                             *^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

*Ron Howards' first movie!
...............................................................................

Rusty VanBondo relates an entertaining moment:

If you think that movie is bad try watching the "All American Nudie
Musical." We have an annual laugh at my expense every Christmas because of it. 

The first Christmas after I married my wife was spent at the In-laws. At the
last minute we decided to rent a movie to watch after the presents and
traditional supper/dinner was completed. My father and law and I were given
the task of renting the "right" movie. We were asked to avoid movies with
foul language, gratuitous sex, car chases, violence and any of the other
redeeming aspects. OK, so "Pops" and the new Son-in-law blazed on down to
the BlockBuster. Of course we get to the BlockBuster and EVERYTHING is
rented out. Were talking Christmas Day at mid afternoon. I think I find
miscellaneous good choices that were immediately shot down by the new
Father-in-law. I took it as one of those "Mine is bigger than yours even if
you are doing my daughter" things. No probs.
Next thing I know Pops picks out this movie that says Cindy Williams in big
typography and Ron Howard in smaller type on the box. It was entitled "The
All American Nudie Musical." I was having my doubts but he had established
that is bigger than mine, I'm doing his daughter and I swore I'd make this
marriage last. The logic was that if it was Ron Howard and Cindy Williams
"Happy Days meets Laverne and Shirley ala American Graffiti how
bad/nasty/"busy" could it be? Hmmmm...
Next scene, picture the whole extended family hunkered around the VCR ready
to be entertained by Pops choice with that warm fuzzy Holiday "Jones"
filling every pore of all of our bodies. Whomp, there it is! Imagine one of
those really poor German porno movies with the music that is dragging by a
quarter note slow that is held together only by the scenes of donkeys,
housewives, poolmen, and handcuffs but with out the porno. Cross this with
one of those funky old Andy Hardy, Mickey Rooney as a young boy "Hey,
everybody let's put on a play in the barn and raise enough money to end
world hunger!!!! You know the kind that you hate and your spouse loves to
watch at Two AM while loudly munching potato chips that stink like vinegar.
Now insert the Busby Berkley broadway musical thing but naked! Full frontal
action with really ugly fat hang-dog "Aunt Bea/Floyd the Barber" lookin'
folk like you an' me.
The conservative New Englander (Cape Codish don't say shinola if you have a
mouthful) Inlaws were just rolling with laughter watching me break into a
cold sweat as I uncomfortably sat and endured this farce. I was expecting
that "The Folks" would blaze to the VCR and stop this travisty of decency in
a Nanosecond but Noooooooo... They let this dog of a flick play and play and
play and play and... The camera panned from one side of street to another
and Ron Howard was in the frame for one second (fully clothed). Sheesh! No
beer, No Red Shoes, No Electric Blue, *No VWs in the background*, No Opie
Taylor in bondage, and no popcorn surprise! This was worse than having to
endure a proctologist appointment in the middle of the Midtown Manhattan
Subway Station at rush hour. finally I faked being exhausted and begged off
claiming to have had a great time and was concerned about the long drive
home (across town). You can expect that the coversation between my new bride
and I was zilch on the way home for the longest time until we both broke out
in uncontrollable laughter.

Now every year my Mother-in-law laughs when she suggests renting a Ron
Howard movie for Christmas. Sheist, even another eternal episode of
Pictionary on Methadone and that sucky Bing Crosby record would be better.