Date:         Thu, 25 Jan 1996 08:42:23 -0800 (PST)
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Gregg Welker <gwelker@dpc.com>
Subject:      Humor (sort of): Movie computers 

   
COMPUTERS & ELECTRONICS (as depicted in movies) 
=====================================================
     
Word processors never display a cursor.
     
You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
     
All monitors display inch-high letters.
     
High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some 
such governmental institution, will have easy to understand 
graphical interfaces. Those that don't, have incredibly powerful 
text-based command shells that can correctly understand and 
execute commands typed in plain English.
     
Corollary: you can gain access to any information you want by 
simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
     
Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by 
simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS" (see Fortress).
     
All computers are connected.  You can access the information on 
the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
     
Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the 
screen changes.  Some computers also slow down the output on the 
screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read.  The *really* 
advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer. [See 
The Hunt For Red October or Alien]
     
All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just 
underneath the surface.  Malfunctions are indicated by a bright 
flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that 
forces you backwards.
     
People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving 
the data.  [See the opening credits for The Hunt For Red October]
     
A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world 
before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
     
Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function (see Demolition 
Man and countless others).
     
Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be 
accomplished in under three seconds.  Movie modems usually appear 
to transmit data at the speed of two gigabytes per second.
     
When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the 
control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
     
If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked 
for a password when you try to access it.
     
No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by 
any system you put it into. All application software is usable by 
all computer platforms.
     
The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has (Aliens). 
However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons 
aren't labelled.
     
Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three- 
dimensional,active animation, photo-realistic graphics capability.
     
Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing 
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY 
Supercomputer.
     
Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that 
it projects itself onto his/her face (see Alien, 2001, [Jurassic 
Park]).

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