Date:         Mon, 15 Apr 1996 17:22:15 -0600
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         ehintz@mail.utexas.edu (Edmund A. Hintz)
Subject:      very loosely related to VW's and the net-but funny

Hey now,
        This is very loosely related to the list, but it was so funny I
couldn't resist posting it. We aircooleds somewhat resemble the 2.5
lawnmower motors-assembled at home... Have fun.


>>>>"Think of the Internet as a highway."
>>>>
>>>>There it is again.  Some clueless fool talking about the "Information
>>>>Superhighway."  They don't know didley about the net.  It's nothing
>>>>like a superhighway.  That's a rotten metaphor.
>>>>
>>>>Suppose the metaphor ran in the other direction.  Suppose the highways
>>>>were like the net. . .
>>>>
>>>>A highway hundreds of lanes wide.  Most with pitfalls for potholes.
>>>>Privately operated bridges and overpasses.  No highway patrol.  A
>>>>couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles.  500 member
>>>>vigilante posses with nuclear weapons.  A minimum of 237 on ramps at
>>>>every intersection.  No signs.  Wanna get to Ensenada?  Holler out
>>>>the window at a passing truck to ask directions.  Ad hoc traffic
>>>>laws.  Some lanes would vote to make use by a single-occupant-
>>>>vehicle a capital offense on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and
>>>>9:00.  Other lanes would just shoot you without a trial for talking
>>>>on a car phone.
>>>>
>>>>AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking bus with hundreds of ebola
>>>>victims on board throwing dead wombats and rotten cabbage at the other
>>>>cars, most of which have been assembled at home from kits.  Some are
>>>>built around 2.5 horsepower lawnmower engines with a top speed
>>>>of nine miles an hour.  Others burn nitrogylcerin and idle at 120.
>>>>
>>>>No license plates.  World War II bomber nose art instead.  Terrifying
>>>>paintings of huge teeth or vampire eagles.  Bumper mounted machine
>>>>guns.  Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a white
>>>>phosphorus grenade up your tailpipe.  Flatbed trucks cruise around
>>>>with anti-aircraft missile batteries to shoot down the traffic
>>>>helicopter.  Little kids on tricycles with squirtguns filled with
>>>>hydrochloric acid switch lanes without warning.
>>>>
>>>>NO OFFRAMPS.  None.
>>>>
>>>>Now that's the way to run an Interstate Highway system.

Peace,
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edmund A. "Eddie"  Hintz     **|**     "You may say I'm a dreamer,
Voice Major, UT Austin      *  |  *      But I'm not the only one...
<ehintz@mail.utexas.edu>   *  /|\  *     I hope someday you'll join us,
'70 Primered Transporter    */ | \*      And the world will live as one.
'73 Orange Super Beetle      *****      Imagine."
              Web page: http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~ehintz
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