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Date:         Mon, 17 Jun 1996 23:01:00, -0500
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         TVCR50A@prodigy.com ( MICHAEL G BENTHIN)
Subject:      Re: funny story

Guy on our oboe/bassoon list sent me this- all you Westy campers should appreciate this one!

>" The Boston Globe Magazine, June 25, 1995 > >Today's culinary topic is: how to light a charcoal fire. >Everybody loves a backyard barbecue. For some reason, food just >seems to taste better when it has been cooked outdoors, where >flies can lay eggs on it. But there's nothing worse than trying >to set fire to a pile of balky charcoal. > >The average back-yard chef, wishing to cook hamburgers, tries to >ignite the charcoal via the squirt, light, and wait method, >wherein you squirt lighter fluid on a pile of briquettes, light >the pile, then wait until they have turned a uniform gray color. >When I say "they have turned a uniform gray color," I am >referring to the hamburgers. The briquettes will remain as cold >and lifeless as Leonard Nimoy. The backyard chef will keep this >up - squirting, lighting, waiting; squirting, lighting, waiting >- until the bacterial level in the side dishes has reached the >point where the potato salad rises up from its bowl, Bloblike, >and attempts to mate with the corn. This is the signal that it's >time to order Chinese food. > >The problem is that modern charcoal, manufactured under strict >consumer- safety guidelines, is one of the lease-flammable >substances on Earth. On more than one occasion, quick-thinking >individuals have extinguished a raging house fire by throwing >charcoal on it. Your backyard chef would be just as successful >trying to ignite a pile of rocks. > >Is there a solution? Yes. There happens to be a technique that >is guaranteed to get your charcoal burning very, very quickly, >although you should not attempt this technique unless you meet >the following criterion: You are a complete idiot. > >I found out about this technique from alert reader George Rasko, >who sent me a letter describing something he came across on the >World Wide Web, a computer network that you should definitely >learn more about, because as you read these words, your >11-year-old is downloading pornography from it. > >By hooking into the World Wide Web, you can look at a variety of >electronic "pages," consisting of documents, pictures, and >videos created by people all over the world. One of these is a >guy named (really) George Goble, a computer person in the Purdue >University engineering department. Each year, Goble and a bunch >of other engineers hold a picnic in West Lafayette, Indiana, at >which they cook hamburgers on a big grill. Being engineers, they >began looking for practical ways to speed up the >charcoal-lighting process. > >"We started by blowing the charcoal with a hair dryer," Goble >told me in a telephone interview. "Then we figured out that it >would light faster if we used a vacuum cleaner." > >If you know anything about (1) engineers and (2) guys in >general, you know what happened: The purpose of the >charcoal-lighting shifted from cooking hamburgers to seeing how >fast they could light the charcoal. > >>From the vacuum cleaner, they escalated to using a propane >torch, then an acetylene torch. Then Goble started using >compressed pure oxygen, which caused the charcoal to burn much >faster, because as you recall from chemistry class, fire is >essentially the rapid combination of oxygen with the cosine to >form the Tigris and Euphrates rivers (or something along those >lines). > >By this point, Goble was getting pretty good times. But in the >world of competitive charcoal-lighting, "pretty good" does not >cut the mustard. Thus, Goble hit upon the idea of using - get >ready - liquid oxygen. This is the form of oxygen used in rocket >engines; it's 295 degrees below zero and 600 times as dense as >regular oxygen. In terms of releasing energy, pouring liquid >oxygen on charcoal is the equivalent of throwing a live squirrel >into a room containing 50 million Labrador retrievers. On >Gobel's World Wide Web page (the address is >http://ghg.ecn.purdue.edu/), you can see actual photographs and >a video of Goble using a bucket attached to a 10-foot-long >wooden handle to dump 3 gallons of liquid oxygen (not sold in >stores) onto a grill containing 60 pounds of charcoal and a lit >cigarette for ignition. What follows is the most impressive >charcoal-lighting I have ever seen, featuring a large fireball >that, according to Goble, reached 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. The >charcoal was ready for cooking in - this has to be a world >record - 3 seconds. > There's also a photo of what happened when Goble used the same >technique on a flimsy $2.88 discount-store grill. All that's >left is a circle of charcoal with a few shreds of metal in it. >"Basically, the grill vaporized," said Goble. "We were thinking >of returning it to the store for a refund." > Looking at Goble's video and photos, I became, as an American, >all choked up with gratitude at the fact that I do not live >anywhere near the engineers' picnic site. But also, I was proud >of my country for producing guys who can be ready to barbecue in >less time than it takes for guys in less-advanced nations, such >as France, to spit. > >Will the 3-second barrier ever be broken? Will engineers come up >with a new, more powerful charcoal-lighting technology? It's >something for all of us to ponder this summer as we sit outside, >chewing our hamburgers, every now and then glancing in the >direction of West Lafayette, Indiana, looking for a mushroom >cloud. _____________________________________________________________________ They didn't say if air pollution was less with liquid oxygen :> !! My trusty frying pan and gas stove is a lot faster....MB in NJ


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