Date:         Fri, 19 Jul 1996 08:39:45 -0700
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         "L.V.Bauer" <bestill@ix.netcom.com>
Subject:      ( Friday)

Sent to me by a friend.


>There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for the
>first time in his life. It was the most wonderful experience of his life so
>far. He was being waited on hand and foot. But it didn't last long. A
>hurricane came up unexpectedly. The ship sank almost instantly.
>
>The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the shore of an island.
>There was nothing for miles around. No people, no supplies, nothing.
>
>The man gazed around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was it.
>He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of his present
>situation. So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice
>and looked to the sea for a ship to come to his rescue.
>
>One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking for a
>ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it be true,
>was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came a rowboat. In
>it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She was tall, tanned, and
>her blond hair flowing in the breeze gave her an almost ethereal quality.
>She spotted him as he was waving and yelling and screaming to get her
>attention. She rowed her boat towards him. In disbelief, he asked, "Where
>did you come from? How did you get here?"
>
>She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed on this
>island when my cruise ship sank."
>
>"Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many of you
>are there? Where did you get the rowboat? You must have been really lucky to
>have a rowboat wash up with you!"
>
>"It is only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing else 
>did."
>
>"Well, then," said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?"
>
>"I made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the island," she
>replied. "The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches, I wove the bottom
>from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
>
>"But, but," asked the man, "what about tools and hardware, how did you do 
>that?"
>
>"Oh, no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island there
>is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired 
>it to a certain
>temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that
>for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But, enough of that,"
>she said.
>
>"Where do you live?"
>
>At last the man was forced to confess that he had been sleeping on the 
>beach.
>
>"Well, let's row over to my place," she said. So they both got into the
>rowboat and left for her side of island.
>
>The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to the approach to
>her place. She tied up the rowboat with a beautifully-woven hemp rope. They 
>walked
>up a stone walk and around a Palm tree, and there stood an exquisite 
>bungalow.
>
>"It's not much," she said, "but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you
>like to have a drink?"
>
>"No," said the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."
>
>"It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a
>Pina Colada?"
>
>Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down
>on her couch to talk.
>
>After a while, having exchanged their stories, the woman asked, "Have you
>always had a beard?" No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my
>life, and even on the cruise ship."
>
>"Well, if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor in the cabinet in
>the bathroom."
>
>So the man, no longer questioning anything, went to the bathroom.
>
>There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle, two shells honed
>to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel
>mechanism.
>The man shaved, showered and went back downstairs.
>
>"You look great," said the woman. "I think I will slip into something more
>comfortable." So she did.
>
>And the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman
>returned wearing fig leafs strategically positioned and smelling faintly of
>gardenia.
>
>"Tell me," she asked, "we have both been out here for a very long time with
>no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely; is there
>anything that you really miss? Something that all men and women need.
>Something that it would be really nice to have right now."
>
>"Yes, there is," the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman while
>fixing a winsome gaze upon her,
>
>"TELL ME ... DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE AN INTERNET CONNECTION?"
>
>" I HAVE TO CHECK MY E-MAIL FROM THE VANAGON LIST I'M 4 MONTHS BEHIND"
>
>