Date:         Mon, 18 Nov 96 12:54:13 EST
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Sean Bartnik <sbart7kb@www.mwc.edu>
Subject:      For the Diesel freaks :)

Hey all,
This is a little something I picked up off RoverWeb (for the Land Rover
enthusiast) about Diesels, written with typical British with by Mike
Rooth :)


Dieselphobia

Now,why do I get the impression(faint,but nevertheless,pursuing) that Steve
doesnt like diesels?Consider,dear sir,the advantages. One such being that
Joe Lucas cannot stop your power unit revolving come what may.Once
started(which admittedly Mr Lucas *is* at liberty to prevent)the entire
electrical system can be consigned to the very devil,it is powerless to
wreak its evil way upon you.

You are domiciled in Soggie England/Wales/Scotland? Worry not, thy ignition
is assured,yea even if thou venture deep into Ontario mud thy plugs,they
foul not nor thy coil letteth thee deep into the plonker.And your
battery,being wondrous large,will assist any two of these petroleum spirit
powered contrivances to commence,both at the same time.(Footnote,is this a
gang bang?). (Second footnote:more possibly a gang of bangers). What other
form of prime mover will automatically lubricate your chassis when the fuel
tank commences to leak? Ah,I have you there! And when the snow lies deep
and crisp and...well you know.. consider,if you will,the simple pleasures
of the outdoor life,as will become obvious when you light a bonfire under
the fuel tank,thus warming your hands,even though your posterior be a
fetching shade of blue. And then again,when motoring upon the Queen's
Highway,should you consider the dear little old lady following in her
horseless carriage to be following at an unseemly *close* proximity,the
solution lies at your own right foot.Pushed suddenly floorwards,a cloud of
black smoke will appear as in a miracle,both obscuring her from your
gaze,and allowing you to proceed at the stately pace which is your right
and privelige, providing unrivalled views of the surrounding scenery,and
not attracting the unwelcome attentions of the local constabulary,viv-a-vis
the *dreadful* crime of scorching.

Indeed,a delight to all the senses,is the Compression Ignition power
unit.Listen to the happy clatter of all four injectors,smell the heady
delights of Heavy Fuel Oil post combustion,adjust the Hand Accelerator
Lever to a siutable position,and recline at your ease. Ah bliss! And
if,heaven forfend,you should suffer a (whisper) malfunction,far from means
of succour and assistance,a little Heavy Fuel Oil added to a quantity of
dry tinderand ignited will provide a suitable column of black smoke such as
will enable you to summon help.It is,however, in circumstances such as
these,advisable to have about your person a Navajo phrase book.Those
Petroleum Spirit conveyances have none,no, not one of these advantages.