Date:         Fri, 28 Feb 1997 05:08:12 -0800 (PST)
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         Steve Johnson <sjohnson@pcocd2.intel.com>
Subject:      For your Friday Amusement...


(Yes I know it's air-cooled, but I thought you'd still
 enjoy it.)


        Air-cooled VW Owners Credo

 (raise your right hand and repeat after me)

I am a Volkswagen owner and solomly swear to:

Make sure that valves are adjusted by myself each and 
every 3000 miles or 3 months whichever comes first.

Change the oil, myself, every 3000 miles or every 3 
months whichever comes first.

I will occasionally thumb my nose at the various 
'quickie' oil/lube places when I pass them by.

Never lug or race the engine on uphills or downhills.

Lay awake at night thinking about what that noise was
when I drove home from work today.

Always include something about VWs in almost every 
conversation with my SO.

Take the ribbing, cussing and screaming that my SO
gives me for the previously mentioned act.

For at least 30 minutes a week I will lay on my back
underneath my VW talking to it and myself and con-
template future maintenance and modification for
it.  

Make sure that my greasy garage cloths are kept 
separate from the rest of the laundary.

Have at least 3 manuals devoted to my VWs model year.

Keep my greasy 'mitts' off of my SO's clean towels.

Be damn sure to wear my 'car working' clothes and not
my good ones when I proceed to do *any* work on my car.

I will keep a set of 'car working' clothes or coveralls
in my VW at all times for emergency repair work.

I will keep a tube or tub of hand cleaner in my VW at
all times.

That the top ten items on my Christmas/Birthday/Anniversay
list are VW related.

Make sure that any gifts I buy my SO are *not* VW related.

At least 3 of my shirts and hats have some kind of VW 
emblem on them.

I know all of the VW FLAPS in town and have memorized
all of their phone numbers.

Own a torque wrench and understand how to use it.

Keep a record book of my VWs maintenance history.

Show that record book to everyone that comes over as
if were pictures of a brand new baby.

Explain to my SO that my VW *is* my baby.

Learn to recite in your head your VWs entire maintenance 
schedule so you can do it while brushing your teeth.

Know that there is no such thing as 'borrowing oil'.

Know exactly how many miles you have left to drive before 
you run out of gas.

Have all the necessary parts and tools ready for when you 
break down.

Know all the phone numbers you need to call if you can't
fix it.     

Learn how to sleep in my VW.

Learn how to push my VW.

Learn how to drive my VW with a broken clutch cable.

Learn to keep a spare clutch cable in my VW.

Make sure the top 5 numbers on all my phone lists are 
VW related.

My desk at work has VW related items on it.

Make sure that when anyone at my work has a problem with 
their VW, I am the first person they call.

Be the only one to add or take any fluids to or from my VW.

And finally, understand that I am a VW nut and not everyone
can comprehend this.... ability....  and cannot understand why 
I eat, drink, breath, stink and sleep Volkswagens.  I can only
accept that I do and therefore, will act and behave accordingly.....

So (please) help me <insert your deity here>.

(You may now lower your right hand)  :)


Steven 

sjohnson@pcocd2.intel.com