Date: Tue, 03 Jun 1997 23:26:07 +0000
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@vanagon.com>
From: Knud Haugmark <dunkdesk@post2.tele.dk>
Subject: Have a laugh. (WAY out of sight of topic)
After 20 years I found an old classmate from highschool with help from a
nice listee (Miriam Argron, Claris Home page list) =
We have been corresponding, and tonight he sent me a collection of
wisdom of life quotes. It is off off off topic, but I take the risk of
being flamed for messing up the archives, waisting bandwith etc. Read on
and have a few laughs. =
The credit goes to my friend, Kim Nyegaard, who emigrated from Denmark
to the US 25 years ago and has a successful softwarebusiness. His site
is at
http://www.eriss.com/
Feel free to spread them on the net in your signatures and make the
world laugh. If you distribute them all to other newsgroups - I=B4d
encourage that - sorry listpurists - let the credit go to Kim, who
collected them.
So here they come...
Always get behind schedule early. That way you got plenty of time to
make it up. Besides, although hard work never killed anyone, why take
the risk? =
A great way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
Bored? Drive the speed limit... in your garage.
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
If you cannot make it good, make it big!
Refuse Novocain. Transcend Dental Medication!
Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammonition.
To find a policeman in a hurry, park your car illegally.
Confuse the world - smile all Monday.
Don't force it - get a larger hammer.
If at first you don't succeed, so much for skydiving.
Don't get stuck in a closet. Wear yourself out.
Marriage is ine of the chief causes of divorce.
Do not hate yourself in the moring - sleep until noon.
If it has feelings, it is not cooked enough.
Trees hit cars only in self defense.
Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
In a fight between you and the world, back the world.
The chief cause of problems is solutions.
Avoid messes. Remember to cover the cat before microwaving.
Do not marry for money. You can borrow it a lot cheaper.
How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you are.
When in doubt, mumble.
It is not the fall that kills you. It is the sudden stop.
The trouble with resisting temptation, is that it may never come again.
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
An unbreakable toy is excellent for breaking other toys.
Avoid reality at all costs.
If everything seems to be going well, you have probably overlooked
something.
If your parents don't have children, odds are you wont either.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
If it screams, it is not food......yet.
If it is on fire, it is not a software problem.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.
Life is uncertain - eat desert first!
The best cure for insominai is to get a lot of sleep.
If facts do not conform to theory, they must be disposed of.
Why get even when you can get odd?
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.
The advantage to being a pessimist is that all your surprises are
pleasant.
Drink wet cement and get completely stoned.
One way to stop a runaway horse, is to bet on him.
Do something unusual today. Accomplish work on a computer.
Going the speed of llight is bad for your age.
If you are not part of the solution, be part of the problem!
It always works better if you plug it in.
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.
So you had some fun???
Love from
Knud Haugmark
Graphic designer and artist
- Visit Knuds cyberARTmuseum. 70 paintings, nice downloads
http://home2.inet.tele.dk/dunkdesk/
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