GM:

I tried the recipie, and I think something is wrong.. it made bunker C oil. Now I think you should get your money back, unless you have a steamship or old 4-8-2 Pacific (light or heavy) steam engine. Come to think of it, my '87 Westy syncro runs like its on Bunker C. Or maybe I'm on bunker C, but then that would start the drug thread again :))

You outdid yourself on this one! Great job and have a fantastic Memorial Day!

Bill (who will be spending the Holiday weekend with Tarbash the magician)

At 03:31 PM 5/22/98 -0400, you wrote: >For those of you who recently recieved that Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe for >the 24-thousandth time...try this one on for size instead. :) > >THIS IS NOT TRUE----IT IS A PARODY OF A STUPID URBAN FOLK MYTH THAT JUST WON'T >DIE. > >I had just finished getting our family VW Van tuned up at the All Tune and >Lube in Dallas & decided to have the oil changed. Because I know the >importance of proper viscosity, I asked the tattooed, roughneck mechanic to >use "the best oil you've got!" > >With the extinguished stub of a Marlboro bobbing on his bottom lip, he looked >at me, the pocket-protector dork that I am, and said "Yeah, right, pal." > >Following the oil change, the Van ran so quietly and smoothly that I asked the >spanner captain if they would give me the chemical formula for their oil so >that I might cook some up at home in my spare time. The unshaven grease monkey >said with a scowl, "Wha's which you pal? It's friggin' 20w50 motor oil. Go buy >some. I can't give you stinkin' the formula." > >"Well," I said, confident that a Do-It-Yourselfer like me could MAKE better >oil myself, "Could you let me BUY the formula, then?" > >His eyes rolled back in his head, then with a smile that wrinkled his pierced >nostril, he said, "Sure, pal, anything you like." > >I asked "How much?" > >He responded with wink, "Only two-fifty, it's a great deal!" > >With an approving nod, I said, "Just add it to my tab," which, by the way, I >am too stupid to look at when I sign my approval. > >Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement. The charge from All Tune and >Lube was $340.00. I got out my slide rule, a compass, a sextant, some test >tubes, and a microscope and I looked again. I remembered I had only spent >$59.95 for the tune up and about $29.96 for the oil change. As I glanced at >the bottom of the statement, it said, "Chemical Formula for 20W50 Oil - >$250.00." > >"That's outrageous!!" I thought. "They are off by nine cents!" > >But wait a minute...did I REALLY pay $250 for a motor oil formula??? > >Instead of calling VISA and disputing the charge, I called All Tune and Lube's >Accounting Dept. (Please keep in mind, I am stupid.) I told the bean-counting >finance weenie that the unshaven mechanic said the formula was "two-fifty," >which clearly does not mean "two hundred and fifty dollars" by any *POSSIBLE* >interpretation of the phrase. > >Being better with numbers than with language, they were temporarily mesmerized >by my argument. > >In the end though, All Tune and Lube refused to budge. They would not refund >my money, because according to them, "You are a complete idiot for buying the >formula for motor oil. You got what you had coming. What the mechanic told you >is not our problem. We absolutely will not refund your money. Now, buzz off." > >Because, again, I am stupid, I explained the criminal statutes which govern >fraud in Texas. Luckily, I happened to have memorized these over the Easter >Holiday, and could recite them verbatim. With my pitiful victim mentality, I >threatened to refer them to the Better Business Bureau, the State Attorney >General, and the American Petroleum Institute, NASA, the IRS, the ASPCA, the

>NAACP, Rush Limbaugh, G. Gordon Liddy, Sally Strothers, and all the members of >the Hall of Justice, including Aquaman and the Wonder Twins. > >I was basically told, "Do what you want, you are the goofball who paid for the >formula for off-the-shelf motor oil, like DUH!!! We're not refunding your >money." > >With my tail between my legs, I said, "Okay, you folks got my $250, and now >I'm going to have $250.00 worth of fun." (in another Friday thread, perhaps we >ALL can reveal what we consider "$250 worth of fun") Anyway, I told her that I >was going to see to it that every Vanagon driver in the United States with an >e-mail account has a $250.00 motor oil formula from All Tune and Lube... for >free. I could hear her eyes roll-back in her head. > >She replied, "You are a stupid goofball, and are probably deranged. You need >help." > >I said, "Well, you should have thought of that before you ripped me off and >refused to make any correction of this error!" > >So, here it is the chemical formula for 20w50 motor oil!!! > >Please, please, please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I >paid $250 dollars for this formula.... > >(Formula may be halved): > >H2C4SO4 HO4SO3C4 Mg3Si4Fe2 SO3 C4 Mg3Si4Fe2H2 C4SO4 HO4S4O3C4 Mg34SO3C4 >Mg3Si4Fe2 SO3C4 MgSi4 > >Okay folks, I don't actually have the formula…Jus' funnin' with ya. I hate >that cookie recipe story. > >HAPPY FRIDAY, AND please remember in your thoughts and prayers all those >Americans who fought and died for our freedom. Happy Memorial Day. > >gmbulley >cary, nc >

"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right"

Hunter/Garcia