Date: Wed, 5 Aug 1998 10:01:27 EDT
Reply-To: KENWILFY@AOL.COM
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <Vanagon@vanagon.com>
From: KENWILFY@AOL.COM
Subject: Flame Form (F) (longish)
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
I got a few laughs out of this and I thought the List would too. The
Individual was sent this form after posting a "VWs are junk" post to a VW
newsgroup.
STANDARD USENET BONEHEAD REPLY FORM (version 9.5) ----
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[ x ] Clueless Newbie
[ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too"-er
[ x ] Spammer
[ ] Racist
[ ] Expert on everything (EOE)
[ ] Flamerthrower
[ ] News Groupie
You Are Being Flamed Because:
[ x ] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
[ ] You posted a picture (binary) of something YOU think is really
cool in an unmoderated TEXT ONLY news group
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
[ ] You started a thread that has been discussed here continuously
for the last year and a half
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
[ ] You didn't pay attention to the originating post header and
posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than
in alt.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
[ x ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
[ ] You followed up to a blatently obvious troll
[ x ] You said "X rules, Y sucks" and gave no support for your lame
statement
[ ] You said "me too" to something and added NOTHING to the
discussion
[ x ] You make no sense
[ ] You posted the same text multiple times
[ ] You made a post yet failed to say anything
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable
[ ] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS (OR IN ALL
CAPS) for NO APPARENT REASON
[ ] You posted a 2 line reply with PAGES of unecessary quoted text
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed anyway
To Repent, You Must:
[x ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're
doing
[x ] READ every post in this group for two weeks so you can some
idea about what is discussed here
[ ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
[x ] Give up your AOL account
[x ] Give up your webTV account
[x ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
[x ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor (monitor must
be
plugged in)
[x ] Actually post something relevant
[ ] Post to alt.test
[ ] Print your home phone number and address in your ads
[ ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
[ ] Nothing, we'll let you go this time
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] Get a clue
[ ] Get a life
[ ] Go away
[ ] Grow up
[ ] Never post again
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Like a neutered dog, you just don't get it
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] Go back to school and actaully learn something
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
[ ] Don't take offense at this, I just like to use this form
[x ] All of the above
So here is the official flame form. When flamming it is important to use the
proper form. The sad part is I know we will never need to use this form on
this List. :-)
Have fun (early Friday!)
Ken Wilford
John 3:16