Date:         Wed, 5 Aug 1998 10:01:27 EDT
Reply-To:     KENWILFY@AOL.COM
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <Vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         KENWILFY@AOL.COM
Subject:      Flame Form (F) (longish)
Comments: To: vanagon@vanagon.com
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII

I got a few laughs out of this and I thought the List would too.  The
Individual was sent this form after posting a "VWs are junk" post to a VW
newsgroup.

STANDARD USENET BONEHEAD REPLY FORM (version 9.5)  ----
(check all boxes that apply)


 Dear:
   [ x  ] Clueless Newbie
   [   ] Troller
   [   ] "Me too"-er
   [ x  ] Spammer
   [   ] Racist
   [   ] Expert on everything (EOE)
   [   ] Flamerthrower
   [   ] News Groupie



  You Are Being Flamed Because:

   [ x  ] You obviously don't know anything about the topic at hand
   [   ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup
   [   ] You posted a picture (binary) of something YOU think is really
         cool in an unmoderated TEXT ONLY news group
   [   ] You started a long, stupid thread
   [   ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread
   [   ] You started a thread that has been discussed here continuously
           for the last year and a half
   [   ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it
   [   ] You didn't pay attention to the originating post header and
          posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam
   [   ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than
          in alt.test
   [   ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message
   [   ] You posted low-IQ flamebait
   [ x ] You posted a blatently obvious troll
   [   ] You followed up to a blatently obvious troll
   [ x ] You said "X rules, Y sucks" and gave no support for your lame
           statement
   [   ] You said "me too" to something and added NOTHING to the
          discussion
   [ x  ] You make no sense
   [  ] You posted the same text multiple times
   [  ] You made a post yet failed to say anything
   [   ] You posted a phone-sex ad
   [   ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme
   [   ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal
   [   ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable
   [   ] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS (OR IN ALL
          CAPS) for NO APPARENT REASON
   [   ] You posted a 2 line reply with PAGES of unecessary quoted text
   [   ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
          worthless that you are being flamed anyway


  To Repent, You Must:

   [x   ] Refrain from posting until you have a vague idea what you're
          doing
   [x   ] READ every post in this group for two weeks so you can some
           idea about what is discussed here
   [   ] Read every newsgroup you posted to for a week
   [x   ] Give up your AOL account
   [x ] Give up your webTV account
   [x   ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it
   [x   ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor (monitor must
be
          plugged in)
   [x  ] Actually post something relevant
   [   ] Post to alt.test
   [   ] Print your home phone number and address in your ads
   [   ] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month
   [   ] Nothing, we'll let you go this time


  In Closing, I'd Like to Say:

   [   ] Get a clue
   [   ] Get a life
   [   ] Go away
   [   ] Grow up
   [   ] Never post again
   [   ] You need to seek psychiatric help
   [   ] Like a neutered dog, you just don't get it
   [   ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
   [   ] Go back to school and actaully learn something
   [   ] Learn how to post or get off the usenet
   [   ] Don't take offense at this, I just like to use this form
   [x   ] All of the above

So here is the official flame form.  When flamming it is important to use the
proper form.  The sad part is I know we will never need to use this form on
this List. :-)
Have fun (early Friday!)
Ken Wilford
John 3:16