Date:         Fri, 9 Oct 1998 16:24:48 -0400
Reply-To:     DSTEVENS <DSTEVENS@LAUBACH.ORG>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <Vanagon@vanagon.com>
From:         DSTEVENS <DSTEVENS@LAUBACH.ORG>
Subject:      IT'S FRIDAY(LONGISH)
Comments: To: "vanagon.com" <vanagon@vanagon.com>,
          diesel list <VWDIESEL@PAS-NT.PAS.ROCHESTER.EDU>
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I'm still fairly new but I was under impression that on Fri the forum is
a little more entertaining and after reading this I now understand more
of my parts lettering.
 if this annoys anybody I'LL APOLOGIZE NOW AND DON'T READ ANYMORE , IT'S
CLEAN THOUGH.

Official European Language News


The European commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will
be the official language of the EU, rather than German (hurrah!) which
was
the other possibility. As part of the negotiations HM Govt. conceded
that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
phase-in plan for the new language which will be known as Euro-English.

This is how the treaty looks:

Year 1. "s" will replace the soft "c". This will sertainly make the
sivil
servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the
"k".
This will klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.

Year 2. There will be growing publik enthusiasm this year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f" which will make words like
FOTOGRAF 20% shorter.

Year 3. Publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach
the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will
enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent
to
akurate speling. Also we al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
"e"
in the language is disgracful and they should go away.

Year 4. Peop wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and
"w" with "v".

Year 5. During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensible riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU !!

Daniel Stevens
Operations Specialist