hell, i knew a fellow who 'murdered' his vw beetle!! yup. got it stuck in the mud out in a swamp (pronounced: swah' uhmp) and couldn't get it out ... he was a biologist, you see. actually, a biology grad student from new york, but that's another story. anyway, he tried digging it out, and that didn't work, so he beat on the top with the shovel-thingie (one of them folding cat-hole shovels (pronounced: shey' vulls) that the army gives you when you sign up), but that didn't work, so he got his 30-caliber rifle (he always carried that thing. said you just never knew when you'd be attacked by a nematode or butterfly or something. some of them animals (pronounced: annie' mules) can be quite viscious (or viscous. depends on the season, i suppose) when they figure out you're gonna stuff them into a big jar of formaldehyde and water, with a whole bunch of other strange animals). and he just up and shot that poor defenseless Beetle. it had never hurt him at all, and it was his own stupidity for getting stuck. but i guess it worked. he shot it three times ... did you know a 30-caliber bullet will go clean through a vw beetle? in one side and through the seat and right on out the other side?? so this crap about hiding behind cars in the movies just ain't real, folks. anyhoo, he shot it three times, like i said, and then calmed down. got back in and cranked it up again and drove on out. at least, that's what he told us. and judging from the bullet holes in the sides of the bug, and the shovel-thingie still sticking out of the roof (no sunroof. well, not before then, anyway), i kinda believed him. so, you see, it ain't really shovels that are dangerous ... it's people who carry them around!!! ;) and the moral of this little tale is: don't hang around with biology grad students. :) unca joel |
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