Date:         Fri, 29 Oct 1999 21:39:24 -0500
Reply-To:     Joel Walker <jwalker@URONRAMP.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         Joel Walker <jwalker@URONRAMP.NET>
Subject:      FFFrrrrydaye Fearless Follies ... only 10 cents!!!
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1"

hurry, hurry, hurry, one thin dime, one tenth of a dollar .... :)  some more
foolishness for Frydaye. ...


Tales of the Workshop
   by Robert W. Service-Advisor

                 The Cruise Control

      Oh, the stories we hear, like the stars in the sky,
         Have all been encountered before,
      But just when you think that you've heard of them all,
         A new one will drive through the door.

Old Bill's truck arrived, dragging closely behind
A huge Winnebago in tow,
And the RV was smashed in the front and the side,
With three windows all broke in a row.

So we asked what occured to cause all this harm,
And Old Bill just said with a smile,
"The owner was driving on I-25,
As he clicked over mile after mile,"

"And long about sundown, he got somewhat tired
And decided he'd rather go eat.
So he got up and went to the kitchen in back,
Leaving no one up front in the seat."

"You see, they had told him, when he purchases the thing
That the Cruise Control made quite a show:
You just get up to speed, push the button to set,
Then it handles it all, don't you know!"

"So he pushed in the button, and went to the back,
Thinking Cruise Control was now in control.
And just about time he had reached in the fridge,
His world began to unfold."

"The cops shook their heads after reaching the scene,
Amazed at the damage so slight,
But to pull all the cars that he ran off the road
Required all the rest of the night."

      Oh, the stories we hear, like the stars in the sky,
         Have all been encountered before,
      But just when you think that you've heard of them all,
         A new one will drive through the door.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Clementine

In a junkyard, on a mountain,
  Rusting there beneath the pines,
Sat a sagging old Volkswagen
  Camper bus named Clementine.

Born a German, over yonder,
  Made her way across the foam,
Not at all the life she wished for
  In this new land, her new home.

There she sat, among the rusting
  Bones of cars from Yesterday,
Left alone and here abandoned,
  Waiting for her dying day.

    Oh, my darling, oh, my darling,
    Oh, my darling Clementine,
    You will soon be lost forever,
    Awful sorry, Clementine.

Years ago, she took a family
  Way out West and way back home;
Never once had any problems,
  Through the countryside they'd roam.

But the family grew much bigger
  Than poor Clementine could hold,
So they sold their loyal camper
  For a measly bag of gold.

There she sat, out in the weather,
  On the dealer's used car lot,
Through the snows of winters freezing,
  Through the summers burning hot.

    Oh, my darling, oh, my darling,
    Oh, my darling Clementine,
    You were sold and left abandoned,
    Awful sorry, Clementine.

No one looked or asked about her,
  And the dealer didn't care,
So he sold her to the junkyard
  And for years she's been out there.

Then one day, there came a youngster
  Looking for some parts to buy,
Saw her rusted, faded body,
  Bought her from the junkyard guy.

Towed her home and started fixing,
  Taking time to do it right;
Worked a long time on her engine,
  Stayed up late into the night.

    Oh, my darling, oh, my darling,
    Oh, my darling Clementine,
    You were lost but now I've found you,
    Not to worry, Clementine.

Brand new tires, and brand new braking,
  Stop the rust, renew the paint,
Rid the field mice from the cabinets,
  Cause a Mouse Hotel she ain't!

Mend the canvas, and the fixtures,
  Make the pop-top work just fine.
When she's finished, she'll be pretty,
  A Beauty Queen, my Clementine.

Now she rides upon the highway,
  Just like when she was brand new,
With a grin between her headlights,
  And she purrs, like kittens do.

    Oh, my darling, oh, my darling,
    Oh, my darling Clementine,
    You were almost gone forever,
    Now you're fixed and you're all mine!