Date:         Fri, 10 Dec 1999 08:37:47 -0500
Reply-To:     "Karl F. Bloss" <bloss@ENTER.NET>
Sender:       Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From:         "Karl F. Bloss" <bloss@ENTER.NET>
Subject:      Camping hints (F)
Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII

NatureCamping Hints
  -------------
  When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your
  picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

  Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking
  his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

  A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your
  feet warm.  A hot enchilada works almost as well, but
  the cheese sticks between your toes.

  The best backpacks are named for national parks or
  mountain ranges.  Steer clear of those named for landfills.

  While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years,
  the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.
  Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

  Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable
  campers to stay dry in a downpour.  Rain suits that sneeze,
  cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add
  absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

  Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.
  Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

  You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always
  grows on the north side of your compass.

  You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll
  by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

  The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat,
  should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar
  device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

  When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.  It gives
  you something to wipe your nose on.

  Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping:
  Shine a flashlight into one ear.  If the beam shines out
  the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

  A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

  A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent
  side dish.  A potato baked in the coals for three hours
  makes an excellent hockey puck.

  In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness
  by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the
  elastic waistband of your underwear.

  The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite
  makes excellent kindling.

  The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for
  generations. The sight of a bald man, however, does
  absolutely nothing for the eagle.

  It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on
  a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

  Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in
  grizzly country.  The tricky part is getting them on
  the bears.


Karl and Kristina Bloss, Trexlertown, PA
'87 Westfalia Weekender  "Beverley" - 190K miles
http://www.enter.net/~bloss/vw/
PA/NJ Vanagon owner's mailing list: http://www.enter.net/~bloss/vw/pavanagon/