Mike and John...
Okay, you bet I can do that oil change without stripping =
the
drainplug...you sit back and drink your beers...just pass me one...I =
can do
more than one thing at a time :-) and while Im at it, I'll tune it =
up...pass
me another beer...wash and wax? uh, pass me a six-pack...oh and a =
step
ladder (im only 5'4 lol)
John wrote:
Mike Miller wrote:
>
> Gina, =
>
> I truly resent, no absolutely abhor, the =
terrible,
probably terminal,
> misrepresentation of the male gender =
put
forward by this diatribe.
>
> There is no way, it =
is not
possible, no, not even as a concept that any
> =
reasonable, or
unreasonable man would waste all that time with that fricking =
>
oil when there was beer to drink.
>
> So there. =
>
> Mike
>
> ----- Original Message ----- =
>
From: Gina <GG811@SENTRYMICRO.COM>
> To:
<vanagon@GERRY.VANAGON.COM>
> Sent: Saturday, =
February 19,
2000 3:18 PM
> Subject: oil change humor-NO vanagon =
content
>
> > sorry folks...i just had to :-)
> =
>
> > Oil Changes...
> >
> > Women: =
>
> 1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches =
3000 since
the
> > last oil change. =
> >
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
> > 3. 15 =
minutes later,
write a check and leave with a properly
>
> maintained vehicle.
> > =
>
> Men:
> > 1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and =
write a
check for 50 dollars for oil,
> =
>
filter, oil lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented =
tree.
> > 2. Discover that the used oil container is =
full.
Instead of taking back
> >
>
> to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in =
hole in
back yard.
> > 3. Open a beer and drink it. =
>
> 4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack =
stands.
> > 5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. =
>
> 6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it. =
>
> 7. Place drain pan under engine.
> > =
8. Look
for the right size box end wrench.
> > 9. Give =
up and
use crescent wrench.
> > 10. Unscrew drain plug. =
> >
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in the =
> > process.
> > 12. Clean up.
> > =
13.
Have another beer while oil is draining.
> > 14. Look =
for oil
filter wrench.
> > 15. Give up; poke oil filter with =
Phillips
head screwdriver and twist it
> >
>
> off.
> > 16. Beer. =
> >
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change =
tomorrow.
> > 18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from =
underneath
car.
> > 19. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil =
spilled
during step.
> > 20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. =
> > 21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
> > 22. =
Install new
oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil
>
> to gasket first.
> > 23. =
Dump
first quart of fresh oil into engine.
> > 24. Remember =
drain
plug from step 11.
> > 25. Hurry to find drain plug in =
drain
pan.
> > 26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the =
whole
quart of fresh oil
> > drains =
onto
floor.
> > 27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on =
frame.
> > 28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
> =
>
29. Begin cussing fit.
> > 30. Throw wrench.
> =
> 31.
Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December =
>
> (1992) in the left boob.
> =
> 32.
Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
> > 33. Beer. =
>
> 34. Beer.
> > 35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of =
oil.
> > 36. Beer.
> > 37. Lower car from jack =
stands
> > 38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands =
>
> 39. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) =
to
fresh oil
> >
> > =
spilled
during step 23.
> > 40. Drive car 1/2 quart low for =
7000 miles
when it'll be time for
> > another
>
> oil change
> >
>>>>>>>>in all fairness, i personally =
add...
> > 41. Go to 6 different parts stores looking for a =
new drain
plug for the
> > lady friend who got hers stripped at =
Jiffy
Lube
Mike,
You right. Judging from the story, I must admit that Gina is =
quite
knowledgeable and well informed about the oil change =
process. Maybe
SHE
could do the oil service while we drink beer? After all =
it would
only
take her 15 minutes and of course she WOULDN'T damage =
the drain
plug.
Kind regards to Gina,
John