Dear Would-Be Usurper of our federally
registered mark:
You are hereby ORDERED by general counsel for $CRAP Industries to cease
and desist from further attempts to infringe upon our mark. Be
advised not only will we pursue this legally, but also we have been known
often to take the law into our own hands--the hands of masters, at
that.
Even though YOU the alleged inventor of the great State of North Carolina
claim to be the owner, as far as the records are concerned, and the world
at large, WE at $CRAP Industries own this name and every
appurtenance to it. Do not attempt to foil us. Our plan was
created by one of the foremost authorities in the world on legal
manuevering. You will not succeed.
Sincerely,
$CRAP INDUSTRIES
(fur nachtes freitag)