Date: Fri, 1 Oct 1999 10:35:45 -0500
Reply-To: Marshall Ruskin <mruskin@PANGEA.CA>
Sender: Vanagon Mailing List <vanagon@gerry.vanagon.com>
From: Marshall Ruskin <mruskin@PANGEA.CA>
Subject: Re: (F) are you an engineer?
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Next time you buy a car, appliance or computer - or fly an airplane - INSIST
that it be designed and quality tested by a business writer, or an amateur
satirist. ;>)
Marshall Ruskin, EE, SA
(Socially Adept)
>You might be an engineer if ...
>. choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or upgrading your RAM is a
moral dilemma.
>. you take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
>. in college you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure.
>. the sales people at the local computer store can't answer any of your
questions
>. at an air show you know how fast the skydivers are falling
>..you bought your wife a new CD-ROM drive for her birthday.
>. you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
>. you can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
>. you comment to your spouse that his/her straight hair is nice and
parallel
>. you sit backwards on the Disneyland rides to see how they do the special
effects
>. you have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances
>..you have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
>. you know what "http://" stands for.
>. you look forward to Christmas so you can put the kids' toys together.
>. you see a good design and still have to change it.
>. you spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
>. you still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
>. you think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived.
>. you window shop at Radio Shack
>. your laptop computer costs more than your car.
>. your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
>. you've already calculated how much you make per second.
>. you've tried to repair a $9 appliance
>
>Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
>A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
>
>Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
>A: Their personalities.
>
>Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
>A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
>
>Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
>A: Because they looked in the file and that's what they did last year.
>
>Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
>A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the
wrong way.
>
>G. Matthew Bulley
>Director
>Bulley-Hewlett & Associates
>www.bulley-hewlett.com
>Cary, NC USA
>888.468.4880 tollfree
>
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